I went to the Utah Arts Festival yesterday. I had an amazing day and ran into some really cool people. Unfortunately, today I feel absolutely crummy. I can’t figure out if it’s the wine, being out in the heat all day, or possibly the fact the wine, too, was out in the heat all day. Whatever the case, it’s safe to say my feet aren’t the only icky today. And with that, I’m going back to bed.
Cutting Daisy dog’s nails is a constant battle–one that I continually lose.
Last night, in a brave move, I picked up the nail clippers and called her name. She took one look at me and ran. By the time I put the clippers down she was long gone. My apartment isn’t very large so it should only take a few minutes to find her, NOT FORTY FIVE MINUTES! I looked in all her usual hiding spots but nothing.
Knowing there was no way she could get outside I decided to get some reading done and she’d surface soon enough. I sat down on the couch and went to grab my blanket to snuggle up and found this:
She looked so cute I not only skipped clipping her disgustingly long nails, but I let her have the blanket.
I don’t check my blog stats as often as I should. If I sit down and think about just how many people are reading about my vibrator I tend to panic.
Yesterday, in an effort to put off my math homework, I decided to look the blog stats up. Seeing how many of you are out there reading was amazing! I thank you, and my vibrator thanks you. My mom, however, does not thank you. I’m sure the thought of so many people reading about the time I got caught with my hand down my pants, or the time I managed to use the word fuck and Baby Jesus in the same post would give her further reason to hate technology. I can hear her now, “Sarah, those strangers are only encouraging your bad behavior. Don’t come crying to me when you end up chopped up in someone’s freezer somewhere.” My mom actually said that last part to me when she found out about my blog. I didn’t have the heart to tell her if I was chopped into pieces I probably wouldn’t be crying to anyone, because I WOULD BE DEAD!
I realized I have the best source of blog info at my hands. Who knows the Internet better than you people?
So here’s your chance to pimp your own blog. In the comment section I want anyone with a blog, or a favorite blog to leave a link and briefly tell us what your blog is about. My RSS feed could use a little revamp. Get busy. And when you’re done getting busy, come back and leave me some blog links. Not everyone around here (READ: ME!!) is getting a little something, something–which means I’ve got plenty of time for blog reading.
**Edit**Woohoo! Look at all these links! To make things easier I’ll post a list of all the links left in comments, so post your link by tomorrow.
To read this week’s column go here. One of these days I may even get around to posting the pictures with needles in my forehead. Just not today… I’m too busy being pissed off at the President for making me late to work. The war is one thing, but fucking up my commute? Now that’s something worthy of impeachment.
*Edit: for all those who have emailed me requesting the contact info for the Botox doctor I used here you go Center For Facial Appearances. Make sure you ask Dr. Anderson to tell you the stories about his travel abroad. Trust me.
When it comes to preserving the environment and recycling, I feel like I have to double my efforts to make up for my family.
My parents live in the country and as far as I know there is no recycling program. I’m not sure if my other brothers recycle, but I know Ben doesn’t. He’s way too lazy. His idea of preserving the environment is leaving the food wrappers and empty drink cups in the back of his car. At one point when I told him how gross it was he replied, “Sarah, I’m working on a compost pile, leave me alone.”
Last night, when a light bulb burnt out in my apartment I went to retrieve the energy-saving fluorescent light bulbs I’ve been using, but I was out–thus the following conundrum: use the regular light bulbs that I already had, or drive to the store to buy more fluorescent bulbs?
Using low-energy bulbs is awesome, but using the fuel to drive to the store isn’t exactly the most environmentally sound decision. And fuck walking, I didn’t want to change into comfy shoes.
Being a list lover, I sat down and started writing a pro/con list to help make the decision. Ten minutes into the list process I poured myself a glass of wine. Five minutes later a second glass was consumed, and then a third…
Clearly my drunken subconscious was telling me to stay home and preserve gasoline. I can’t very well drive after drinking, right? Right! I then polished off the remainder of the bottle of wine and vowed to recycle the bottle, which I promptly forgot about and threw the bottle in the trash bin. Next time… I promise.
