Tales of Wit and Charm…

Sarah: “Ben, you have to go see Juno ASAP, it’s really good. Or Sweeney Todd. You can’t beat a throat-slitting barber.”

Ben: “I can’t see that one. You know I’m scared of Tim Burton movies.”

Sarah: “Still? You sort of an adult now.”

Ben: “Sarah, I was four. Not exactly a movie to force a small child to watch over and over. This is totally your fault.”

Sarah: “Well how was I to know you’d grow up to be a baby man.”

Ben: “You have no room to talk, remember, you’re terrified of Silence of the Lambs.”

Sarah: “Because that is REAL! You could be a skin suit at any given time. Beetle Juice isn’t real. Proving once again I’m way tougher than you.”

Ben: “Perhaps tougher, but still in need of therapy. We really should get a therapist on staff for the entire family.”

Ben: “Stop telling people I like Nascar. I don’t!”

Sarah: “Benjamin, you have a mullet, therefore you must like Nascar. It’s okay, don’t fight it.”

Ben: “People read your blog. No more Nascar talk. BUT, I do really want Carter’s bed. I’m going to request one from Santa next year.”

Sarah: “You could probably just wait a couple years and Carter will outgrow his.”

Ben: “Outgrow it? Why? It’s awesome. Seriously, Sarah, how cool would that look in my extra bedroom? I may kick my roommate Vegan Joe out so I can.”

Sarah: “Who lives in Dad’s rental property?”

Ben: “Just a bunch of guys, why?”

Sarah: “There is a pro-voucher sign in the yard. It’s weird.”

Ben: “So. I was pro-voucher too.”

Sarah: “Ben, for starters you didn’t vote, and second do you even know what the vouchers are about?”

Ben: “No clue, but I would have voted against them just to spite you.”

Sarah: “Sometimes I hate you.”

Ben: “Whatever. I’ll pick you up in 30 minutes for the movie.”

Sarah: “Did you know Roseanne Cash is having brain surgery tomorrow? Do you want to put her name on the temple prayer list, or shall I?”

Ben: “I vote you. You live closer and have less shame associated with walking in.”

Ben: “You HAVE to go to Bogies tonight!”

Sarah: “Umm, what is that and why?”

Ben: “It’s a club in Ogden that’s giving away a free boob job tonight.”

Sarah: “What are you trying to say Ben?”

Ben: “Nothing! You’re the one who wants it, and free is free.”

Sarah: “But is driving to Ogden really worth boobs?”

Ben: “Not even close.”

Sarah: “Okay, well thanks for thinking of my tits.”

Ben: “Eww. I gotta go.”

Ben: “What are you up to?”

Sarah: “Meeting Jess at the park to go running. Why, what’s up?”

Ben: “I’m sorry; I must have dialed the wrong number. Why are you running?”

Sarah: “I decided to train and run a few races. I need more incentive than the dumb gym can provide to get into shape.”

Ben: “Really? That’s so cool. I’ll run a race with you.”

Sarah: “That would be awesome!”

Ben: “And because I love you I won’t even train for it. That way you can keep up with me.”

Sarah: “And because I love you, I won’t call you a jerk right now.”