I SLEPT WITH VANILLA ICE!
So maybe that’s stretching the truth, but wearing the tank top from his concert to bed is practically the same thing as sleeping with him. The only difference is there’s WAY less risk of an STD.
Air Humping in all the Right Places
After all these years my crush/true love Jonathan Knight still has the right stuff. No really, just look at his sexy dance moves. Hubba hubba. To read abut the actual concert you’ll have to wait until Thursday when my column comes out. But in other crush news, I have one, and it’s good.
A Gold in Lazy
Last night at the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah concert someone Rlo knew walked by. He, of course, didn’t introduce me.
He pretends he’s protecting me from his Mormon friends and their wild heathen activities such as praying, and talking reverently about Jesus or kittens. However, I know the truth: he’s protecting them from me and my need to use the word fuck at least 3,000 times a day.
“Was that one of your Mormons or school friends?”
“She’s a Mormon friend, and a nurse.”
“Another one? How many naughty nurse friends do you have?”
“Let’s just say I’m covered in the sponge bath department.”
“Ohhh, if I ever get too lazy to shower can I borrow them?”
Rlo looked at me in disgust and said, “No, Sarah, I’ll hire that out. It’s worth the money.”
I see absolutely no reason why Rlo should be embarrassed of my extreme laziness. If anything he should be pleased, especially now during the Olympics. Where’s his sense of competitive pride? I’d fire him, but he’s irreplaceable.
That’s What She Said–In Utah This Week
To read my column this week click here. It’s all about the Gallivan concerts, which are tonight. See you there?
That’s What She Said–In Utah This Week
Read this week’s column for In Utah This Week here. I was lazy with the camera that night, but here are the few pictures that we took. I was far too busy watching the hippies in front of me drop acid and then immediately pass out.
I did appreciate the medics telling them,”If possible try and slow down on your drinking for the remainder of the night.” This is why I am not in the heath care industry. I would have said, “Stupid fucking kids, what did you expect would happen? Now if possible, GO HOME AND WASH YOUR HAIR!” This is where I slightly differ from a caring individual.