That’s What She Said… to Jeff Tweedy

Blogged under In Utah This Week,That's What She Said,music on Wednesday 27 April 2011 at 5:30 pm

If I could pick one person to dry hump for the rest of my life it would be Jeff Tweedy. He completes me. Read my love letter in this week’s “That’s What She Said.”

P.S. dry humping isn’t considered cheating, right?

That’s What She Said… About Ben Folds

Blogged under In Utah This Week,That's What She Said,friends,music on Wednesday 21 July 2010 at 5:30 pm

Ben Folds Deer Valley concert

This week’s “That’s What She Said” is about the Ben Folds concert at Deer Valley.

All drunken shenanigans can be viewed here… until my mom calls and begs me to take them down.

A big thanks to the Utah Jesus for saving us seats!

My Vagina is a Green Party Hero

Blogged under Rloshak is for Lovers,music on Saturday 15 August 2009 at 9:00 am

Did you guys watch the Neil Diamond TV concert last night? If not please lie, because otherwise you are dead to me.

I was so excited about the concert that I picked out a special couch outfit, which is code for tee-shirt and underwear. I couldn’t decide on just one shirt, instead I chose two and switched halfway through the concert. I did, not, however switch underwear. It seemed like a waste of a clean pair. I’m single-handedly saving the environment with my vagina.

First half:
Neil Diamond Girl Shirt
Second half:
Neil Diamond concert shirt

After watching the concert I decided Neil should be my BFF. I mean we have sooooo much in common–well except for that wrinkly old man part. He’s Jewish and I work out at the Jewish Community Center. He has a pink sparkly shirt, I have four. OK, so the similarities stop there, but that doesn’t mean the BFF-ship should stop. It’s perfect timing since RLO is practically worthless to me.

(When your BFF falls in love he suddenly become an idiot.)

(RLO didn’t tell me he was in love, but he also didn’t tell me he was Canadian and he totally is.)

(Canadians shouldn’t be allowed to fall in love and ruin lives.)

(So maybe RLO didn’t ruin my life, but eating at the pub isn’t the same without him.)

(Enough about RLO. He pisses me off anyway. Neil Diamond DOES NOT piss me off. Neil Diamond is perfect.)

That’s What She Said… about Rhett Miller

Blogged under In Utah This Week,That's What She Said,music on Thursday 16 July 2009 at 10:08 am

Read this week’s “That’s What She Said” for details on my not-so-secret crush on the Old 97′s frontman.

Jesus is a Jerk

Blogged under music,sarah-ness on Friday 22 May 2009 at 5:00 pm

Mormon Jesus is ruining my life.

First he’s like, “Hey Sarah, wine is devil juice and my people aren’t allowed to drink it.” I ignored him because that’s what I do. AND THEN he’s like, “Sarah did know coffee is a warm drink and therefore against the Word of Wisdom?” I wasn’t having anyone tell me I can’t drink coffee so I said, “Jesus, dude, I drink my coffee cold. I’m not breaking your crazy rules. Suck it.”

Telling Jesus to suck it is never a good idea. Ever. He ruined the one and only chance I had at finding true love.

Jeff Tweedy, my soul mate and the lead singer of Wilco, is playing in Las Vegas on June 19. I was ecstatic when I found out. Wilco is one of my favorite bands and I’ve never seen them play. I planned a girls’ trip to Sin City so I could finally meet and marry Jeff Tweedy.

Guess who went and ruined that plan? Yup, Mormon Jesus. He’s like, “Sarah, Sin City is where sinning happens. Forget it. You’re NOT GOING!” I ignored him and continued planning my weekend trip.

I sometimes forget that Jesus is all in charge of the universe or whatever. He decided to spoil my plans by sending my brother home from his two-year LDS mission in Japan on June 19.

Just because I told him to suck it, I’ll never see Wilco play.

Mormon Jesus is so mean.

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