If your driver license has expired and you’ve been too busy to renew it, bar hopping is a bad idea.
Carpet burns are better on your elbows then face.
Broken toes hurt.
Men from Holland bounce their heads way too much.
When you talk shit on someone and then make your girlfriend stick up for you, you are the one who should be kicked in the baby. Even if you are my brother.
Lemonade and Southern Comfort doesn’t make me barf.
veryGEORGE! is very bossy. After much prodding on his part I’m finally posting the top songs I’d dry hump to. To read his rules and post go here. I’ve never been one to keep rules and I’m certainly not going to start now. Since I’ve not been a teenager in a very long time and I sincerely doubt I’ve ever dry humped as much as George so I’m only posting ten songs.
Sade–Smooth Operator
How I spent 1996. Enough said.
Guns N’ Roses–November Rain
I was sixteen and horny once. In fact, I’m positive this was the song I made out to on multiple occasions in the eleventh grade. Ahhh, the good old days.
Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam
Come on, admit it… we’ve all had the hots for the Mormon Jesus. Those blue eyes and beautiful blond locks.
Mazzy Star–Fade Into You
Find me someone that doesn’t think naughty thoughts during this song and I’ll do my best to change that.
I Hope They Call Me on Mission
Clean cut guys in suits are hot. I did my part in corrupting a few over the years.
Ben Folds Five–The Luckiest
I’ve always loved this song. And fondly remember trying to get my Mormon boyfriend to have sex while listening. I lost.
Heather Nova–Blood of Me
She’s totally girl crush hot AND says the fuck word sexier than any female singer alive.
Journey–Faithfully
I don’t care that George already used this one. It just breeds teenage humping. I’m pretty sure it was responsible for the great hickey incident of 1993.
Al Green–I’m Still in Love With You
Do I really need to explain this one? Total hump music.
The Sundays–Wild Horses
Sexy, sexy, SEXY!
You’ll notice there isn’t any recent music on this list because since last year’s dry hump incident I’ve sworn off of it.
I went to brunch today with Mrs. AK and Little AK. While we were (im)patiently waiting for our pancakes Little AK made her daily list of things to do.
1. Be cute
2. Wear pink
3. Laugh at Arlo
4. Laugh at Ben
5. Be smart
6. Don’t whine
7. Watch Hannah Montana
After reading her list I realized we have the exact same day planned, excluding Hannah Montana of course, as I had already planned to watch Gilmore Girls.
Tagged: I am to post 7 weird things about myself.
The rules are:
A). Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
D). Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1) I still sleep with a baby blanket. I’ve been known to take it along when spending the night with men. An ex used to tease me mercilessly, but secretly he thought it was hot.
2) I cannot sleep if my knees are touching, or if my my hair is touching my face. The baby blanket comes in handy for keeping my knees apart (insert own perverted thought here). The hair issue is solved by putting my hair in a bun at night. Which, I’ve been told, makes me naughty librarian hot.
3) I like my coffee better cold, even in the winter. I think it’s the last remaining bit of Mormon in me. MUST DRINK CAFFEINE COLD! That shit is hardwired into my brain.
4) I hate pushing a grocery cart. When I go shopping I use the little basket, even if it means going to the grocery store more often. The only time I push one is when I go to Costco with Marky, and he ditches the cart like he did today. Yes, I’m still bitter.
5) There are stacks of books surrounding my bed, but when I bring a guy home I kick them under the bed so he doesn’t see. I have no idea why I don’t want a man to see how much I read, especially since it helps with the naughty librarian role play.
6) I made up words all the time and try to pass them off as actual words. Sometimes I can be so convincing I forget they aren’t real myself.
7) I know an entire bottle of wine fits perfectly into a Nalgene bottle. I know this because it’s the only way to get me to go camping and/or hiking. Red wine makes everything fun! I don’t actually think this is weird, but others have teased me enough I’m nearly convinced.
Note to self: be less weird.
I’m too lazy to tag anyone, so let’s mix this up and let seven readers tag themselves. Leave a comment on this post so people can link to yours.
