Tales of Wit and Charm…

OUR ‘SINGLE’ COLUMNIST–by Micheal Yount

This marks the fourth straight issue that “The Dating Years” columnist Sarah Nielson has written about the same love interest — this mystery flyboy known only as Captain America. Now, it sounds like this fella is a decent enough guy, but I’m just about ready to put up a reward for the guy who can steal Sarah’s heart away from the Capt. I’m starting to get nervous that Sarah, SLC’s most eligible bachelorette, is on the verge of falling for this guy, moving to base housing and setting up shop, permanently. Now, that’s not very compelling singles coverage. C’mon boys, save Sarah.

Want to read what he’s talking about? Click here!

86,000 mullets
25,000 handlebar mustaches
countless george hamilton worthy women
family of 7 dressed in matching florescent pink tee-shirts
2 seemingly normal people

that’s right, i’m accounting for the general public at the air show yesterday.

when you know people in high places, you’re privy to some behind by scenes action: you’re able to walk past the “red line” which is guarded with heavily armed men. you’re good to go unless you’re not paying attention and decide to walk through a dog demonstration on your way back, and by you’re i’m referring to me. i know what you kids are thinking, sarah…not pay attention, never!

the highlight of the day was being able to see the jets up close! my favorite being the f16, this is nothing new as i’ve been obsessed since i watched iron eagle for the first time. it was an incredible experience being able to sit in the cockpit of one……as well as stand mere feet away as it took off–what an incredible rush!
seeing the kids intently playing with their new toy jets, yet stopping midair to look in awe as a pilot walked by was heartwarming (yes, i’m a secret sap). i guess i’m not the only one with too many jet flicks in their past, or maybe star wars since that’s exactly where the below stealth looks like it came from…it was a fantastic day, one that i’m going to remember for quite some time, thanks flyboy!!!

i’ve loved the eels, since hearing novocain for the soul on one of my favorite movies, dreams for an insomniac (go figure). so, when i saw they were playing at the depot last night, it was a must. sadly flyboy was unable to make the show, something, something…emergency landing in some corn state; luckily justin didn’t have plans for the night and agreed to be my date as long as i was the designated driver. go ahead and get a feel for my enthusiasm:the band was amazing, complete with a band member whose dance moves would put napoleon dynamite and bruce lee to shame! that’s right, i finally understand the kung fu hustle; it’s not a just a movie kids, but a sequence of dance moves performed by the hulky onstage “security guard”. it was a good night, well except for the end of the evening when i fell down the stairs. i always joke that i can’t make it out of my house in the morning without getting hurt, apparently leaving a concert venue is the same story, different bruise.

flyboy and i went to dinner last night at a little joint known as roosters; a cool little place, but it didn’t follow my no cocks at dinner rule. yes, i realize a place named after a rooster is bound to have them throughout the restaurant, but still…

it’s hard to pay attention to your dinner conversation when you’re waiting for your date to stick his foot in his mouth. you see flyboy has an excellent track record at doing just that. i’m not easily offended, so instead of getting upset i get excited. rest assured, the evening was a complete success! a man passing outside had on a puffy vest, flyboy pointed out how silly this was as it doesn’t keep your arms warm. bippity bam, guess who wears a puffy PINK vest all winter long…yup, me.

it’s nice to have something you can count on.

“i’m moving to canada–hollywood is making knight rider into a movie.” –flyboy

one persons nightmare is another’s dream come true! i’m already digging through my closet for my KITT tee-shirt.

this post will most certainly cause one to think flyboy is a natty ice guzzling, overweight, balding man. he’s not, he enjoys pabst blue ribbon. i kid, i kid. with that disclaimer out of the way…

flyboy went to the kentucky derby over the weekend. yes, by choice! while he was gone we entertained ourselves with bad state slogans. some of our best were:

kentucky, where we wish immigration were an issue!

kentucky, where sleeping with your cousins isn’t required to visit, but it helps!

kentucky, we make your state look good!