It’s been a rough week, but rather than enter meltdown mode I decided to take a break from studying and spend time with Daisy the Pug. Poor girl hasn’t had any attention lately.
So maybe not quality pet time, but seeing the container stuck to her head made me laugh. I really needed that laugh, so I’m sure she’ll forgive me. Or she’ll get all passive-aggressive with her farts. I’ve lived through worse.
I’ve always known I’m pretty. Unlike other pugs I’ve never struggled with self-esteem issues. I’m beautiful inside and out. Despite what Sarah says, even my farts are lovely. They smell like unicorn and pink glitter. And sometimes rainbows… that sorta depends on what I had for dinner.
I am pug goddess; hear me roar!
I live a pretty sweet life. I get to nap a lot and occasionally bark at the new mail lady. I think Sarah is incredibly jealous, because last week she yelled at me to get off the fucking couch and get a job. Rather than poop in her closet, I went out and landed a modeling job. That’ll show her.
Wait, I’m not sure what it will show her. I mean that’s what she wanted, but still she’s dead to me until she apologizes and feeds me treats.
Anyway.
Behold my first modeling job:
This is an ad for Harmons grocery store. If you shop there (and you should because Sarah’s friend Danielle works there) pick up a copy of the October ‘Keepin’ it Fresh’ to either frame, or display on the refrigerator.
Don’t worry my sweet, little lambs I’ll still remember the little people when I land the cover of Doggy Vogue. I’m a sweet bitch like that.
Watching this video you may think I have nothing better to do than sit around and film my freaking dog. You’d be wrong, which may be the reason I’m behind in school readings. BUT, at least you know I’ve started packing my kitchen!
“Sarah, did I lose your dog?”
“No, Ben, I haven’t even dropped her off yet.”
“Oh good. I was so worried I’d already lost her.”
That conversation was not the most comforting thing in the world. Yet, I still took a chance and let my brother keep Daisy while I was traipsing in the woods trying to hug coyotes after drinking way too much wine.
Ben assured me that nothing would happen to her, and I was stupid enough to believe him.
When I picked Daisy up this is where I found her:
She was so hungover that she didn’t even hear me come in and I was able to catch her laying in the aftermath of a passionate night with Willie Nelson.
My bitch made me proud. Also, I’m going to kill my brother.
