That’s What She Said… About Country Life in the City
This week’s column for In Utah This Week. PLEASE Don’t tell my mom I’m homesick. Otherwise she’ll make me come home and clean my room, which I’ve successfully avoided since 1994.
That’s What She Said… about the Fourth of July
Read “That’s What She Said” online about my trip to the country for the demolition derby. I had grand plans to make a cool video with the footage I took, but then this week kicked my ass. So this is all I had time to do. Do me a favor and pretend you can hear AC/DC, the anthem of the country.
My Life as a Derby Princess
OK, so I wasn’t actually a derby princess, but I will be. That’s my new life goal. Forget college and the dreams of writing; I want to be a demolition derby princess.
I NEED that tiara and sash.
If only to cover up the unflattering shirt I decided to wear. I probably would have chosen my clothes a little more carefully had I known I was going to be riding around on top of a car. The crowd is just lucky I wore pants.
I should be easy to spot in this picture since I’m the only girl. I’d say look for the long hair, but the derby is mullet turf.
I had an incredible night and I’d tell you all about it, but I’m saving it for column fodder so I don’t have to leave the house again this weekend. DON’T JUDGE ME! Well you can if you want, but after judging send wine.
And so it Begins
It seems there are some crazy rumors flying around the internet about little old me. It’s disconcerting to say the least.
What rumors you must be wondering? No, it’s not about the time I danced atop a table in a bar. The details of that night die with me.
This is worse.
MUCH WORSE.
It seems my dear friend Kelli has broken our secret pact. So much for “what happens in the country, stays in the country.” Instead of keeping her big mouth shut, she ratted me out to the entire internet. An accident is an accident. I would never purposely hurt a dear friend like Kelli. Unless, of course, she refuses to back to Utah WHERE SHE BELONGS!
And as soon as I’m completely recovered from this nasty bout of the flu I am going to kick that girl’s ass—giving us both a much-needed workout. GIRL FIGHT!
It’s on girly.