Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

This week’s “That’s What She Said” talks about reverting back to my single girl behavior…. and while I’m at it, go ahead and read last week’s column about summer concerts.

Last night at the Willie Nelson concert I picked up a new guy and brought him home. Before we spent the night together we ate veggie burgers and drank whiskey.

My new guy drank a little too much, but I just picked him up off the pavement and carried him home.

This morning was a little rough, but nothing some coffee and Advil couldn’t cure.

We’re going to be incredibly happy together. I just know it.

To read the online version of “That’s What She Said” go here. To download the PDF go here.

The column is all about going to the MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice concert last week. You should be jealous. Everyone should see a grown man sing “Ninja Rap” at some point.

When I was telling RLO my crush had taken me to the Grace Potter concert Saturday night he wasn’t as impressed as he should have been.

Probably because that he had no idea who she was. It could also have been that I may have mentioned that because I wanted to have babies with her hot guitarist I was going to need to borrow his brother for sex.

This request is perfectly logical. RLO’s brother looks exactly like Richie Tenenbaum.  The hot guitarist also looks like Richie Tenenbaum so it makes perfect sense that I have babies with RLO’s brother, rather than the guitarist who is on the road too much.

As usual, RLO ignored most of what I said and asked me to play a song for him.  I played “Ah Mary” and quoted the first part of the song to him:

She’s skilled at the art of deception and she knows it
She’s got dirty money that she plays with all the time
She waters the garden but maybe she just likes the hoses
She puts herself just a notch above human kind

Ater listening he said, “So do you like her because she’s a good musician, or because she reads your diary?”

RLO is such a bitch, which explains why I absolutely adore him.

This week’s installment of “That’s What She Said.”  It’s all about NKOTB, yes, as a matter of fact I can feel your excitement through the computer. Which means I can also hear you singing the “Click Click Click” lyrics, and let me say dear readers, I’ve never been so proud!