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	<title>Sarah Bellum&#039;s Tales of Wit and Charm &#187; Blogging is for suckers&#8230; oh wait.</title>
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	<description>Where Sarcasm Comes Standard</description>
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		<title>Australia is the new black. Not because the country was once a big prison or anything, but because it produces cool people, and good wine. Mmm&#8230; wine.</title>
		<link>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:52:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sarah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogging is for suckers... oh wait.]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sarahnielson.com/?p=5053</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I haven&#8217;t blogged much this week. Quite honestly I feel that I haven&#8217;t had anything worthwhile to add to the interwebs. Not that I ever do, but I&#8217;m tired, busy and emotionally drained. Welcome to life as a 33-year-old student. Last night I logged into my blog email and found the below email. I was [...]<p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/">Australia is the new black. Not because the country was once a big prison or anything, but because it produces cool people, and good wine. Mmm&#8230; wine.</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I haven&#8217;t blogged much this week. Quite honestly I feel that I haven&#8217;t had anything worthwhile to add to the interwebs. Not that I ever do, but I&#8217;m tired, busy and emotionally drained. Welcome to life as a 33-year-old student.</p>
<p>Last night I logged into my blog email and found the below email. I was reminded that I really do have the best blog readers. Sure, I get the occasional hate mail and comments that leave me gasping for air, but it&#8217;s the good stuff that makes blogging worth it.</p>
<p>Thanks to reader Chris for making life just a little brighter. I&#8217;m going to drink a glass of wine in your honor. You know the one with a kangaroo on the bottle. Or is it a wallaby? I get that so confused.<em><br />
</em></p>
<p><em>Dear Miss Nielson, </em></p>
<p><em>I&#8217;m writing to you from Australia as I quite literally just stumbled across you on twitter&#8230;</em></p>
<p><em>Which has now lead me here and I felt it would be a crime to not&#8230;</em></p>
<p><em>1)  Mention that your tweets rock!<br />
2)  &#8230; actually I have no point 2&#8230; which now begs the question&#8230; why have I been such a douche bag and written in point form&#8230;?</em></p>
<p><em>Anyway love the blog so just thought I would drop you a line and tell you that your work is&#8230; kinda like a hot tub filled with melted chocolate and naked midgets!</em></p>
<p><em>Seriously love it!</em></p>
<p><em>Anyway have a beautiful weekend!</em></p>
<p><em>Chris</em></p>
<p><em>P.S.  Your profile photo is criminal!!!  (We use the word &#8216;criminal&#8217; over here in Aus sometimes instead of &#8216;hot&#8217; and now I have successfully chalked up douche bag comment no.2 for using a douche bag word like &#8216;criminal&#8217;)</em></p>
<p><em>P.P.S  Please ignore the first P.S.</em></p>
<div id="crp_related"><h2>Other posts you may enjoy. Or not, whatever. </h2><ul><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2008/06/my-life-calling-as-a-wino/" rel="bookmark">My Life Calling as a Wino</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2007/11/letter-to-self-and-you/" rel="bookmark">Letter to Self, and You</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2007/08/gimme-an-f-gimme-an-i-gimme-an-x/" rel="bookmark">Gimme an F! Gimme an I! Gimme an X!</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/09/thats-what-she-said-about-douche/" rel="bookmark">That's What She Said... About DOUCHE!</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2008/09/kids-know-best/" rel="bookmark">Kids Know Best</a></li></ul></div><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/#comments" title="Comments">Comments (20)</a></p>

<p>&copy;<a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Nielson&mdash;Tales of Wit and Charm</a> All Rights Reserved...Or Else </p><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/">Australia is the new black. Not because the country was once a big prison or anything, but because it produces cool people, and good wine. Mmm&#8230; wine.</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
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			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/10/australia-is-the-new-black-not-because-the-country-was-once-a-big-prison-or-anything-but-because-it-produces-cool-people-and-good-wine-mmm-wine/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>20</slash:comments>
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		<title>Friends are Bitches</title>
		<link>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:31:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sarah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogging is for suckers... oh wait.]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sarahnielson.com/?p=4667</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I guest posted on Aiming Low today. Instead of sending me a tiara and sash my friend Brittany called me lazy on Twitter: She&#8217;s seriously a bitch, which is a badge of honor for her, but I still want the damn tiara. Other posts you may enjoy. Or not, whatever. Twitter me thisSlutting Around the [...]<p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/">Friends are Bitches</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I guest posted on <a href="http://aiminglow.com/2009/08/i-aim-so-low-i-didnt-even-write-this/">Aiming Low</a> today. </p>
<p>Instead of sending me a tiara and sash my friend <a href="http://barefootfoodie.com">Brittany</a> called me lazy on Twitter:</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-4666" title="barefoot foodie twitter feed" src="http://www.sarahnielson.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/picture-71.png" alt="barefoot foodie twitter feed" width="495" height="61" /></p>
<p>She&#8217;s seriously a bitch, which is a badge of honor for her, but I still want the damn tiara. </p>
<div id="crp_related"><h2>Other posts you may enjoy. Or not, whatever. </h2><ul><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/01/twitter-me-this/" rel="bookmark">Twitter me this</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/12/slutting-around-the-interwebs/" rel="bookmark">Slutting Around the Interwebs</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/02/crazy-daisy/" rel="bookmark">Crazy Daisy</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/04/boners-are-news/" rel="bookmark">Boners Are News</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/03/pants-prizes/" rel="bookmark">Pants & Prizes</a></li></ul></div><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/#comments" title="Comments">Comments (4)</a></p>

<p>&copy;<a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Nielson&mdash;Tales of Wit and Charm</a> All Rights Reserved...Or Else </p><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/">Friends are Bitches</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/friends-are-bitches/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Blog Giveaway: let &#8216;Sorry Clementine Clothing&#8217; dress you!</title>
		<link>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/blog-giveaway-let-sorry-clementine-clothing-dress-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/blog-giveaway-let-sorry-clementine-clothing-dress-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:20:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sarah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogging is for suckers... oh wait.]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sarahnielson.com/?p=4543</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Once upon a time there was a sister-less girl named Sarah. This girl was incredibly sad until she found that pseudo sisters were even better than the real thing. She made a point to surround herself with strong, talented and loving woman. One of these women is a talented clothing designer named Suzanne. Suzanne has [...]<p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/blog-giveaway-let-sorry-clementine-clothing-dress-you/">Blog Giveaway: let &#8216;Sorry Clementine Clothing&#8217; dress you!</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>158</o:Words> <o:Characters>906</o:Characters> <o:Lines>7</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>1112</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>11.1282</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG /> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotShowRevisions /> <w:DoNotPrintRevisions /> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin /> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]-->Once upon a time there was a sister-less girl named Sarah. This girl was incredibly sad until she found that pseudo sisters were even better than the real thing. She made a point to surround herself with strong, talented and loving woman. One of these women is a talented clothing designer named Suzanne.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Suzanne has been designing and sewing clothes for years. When she was designing under her last label Drop Dead she let me play model for a night in one of her fashion shows. That&#8217;s how much she loves me. I didn&#8217;t fall down the stairs. That&#8217;s how much I love her!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Suzanne would do anything for me. And I her. Which made it easy to talk her into sponsoring a giveaway. This is awesome news for y’all!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Two winners will receive shirts from Suzanne&#8217;s new clothing line &#8220;Sorry Clementine.&#8221; She will contact the winners for measurements and favorite colors so she can construct the perfect shirt for you. One of a kind, yo!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--></p>
<p>You can comment as often as you like. I will close the contest on Friday at noon. Using a randomizer I will choose two winners. Trust me, you soooo want to be one of those winners. I have a few items she has made me over the years and they remain some of my favorites.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Check out her new<a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7799355"> Sorry Clementine Clothing Etsy Shop</a> to see what kind of clothing she designs. If you&#8217;re a SLC local you can visit her booth at <a href="http://www.craftlakecity.com/">Craft Lake City</a> on Saturday, August 8 from 2 p.m -10 p.m. at The Gallivan Center. I will be!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Help Suzanne get the word out about her new line. Retweet this giveaway link (short link: <!-- m --><a href="http://bit.ly/irMFR">http://bit.ly/irMFR</a><!-- m -->) on Twitter with #sorryclementine after the link. You never know what kind of goodies you&#8217;ll get out of it. If you want to follow Suzanne on Twitter go <a href="http://twitter.com/SorryClementine">here.</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now get commenting.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.craftlakecity.com/"></a></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
<div id="crp_related"><h2>Other posts you may enjoy. Or not, whatever. </h2><ul><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/the-one-where-i-punch-the-pharmacist/" rel="bookmark">The one where I wish I could punch the pharmacist</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/if-you-can%e2%80%99t-lie-to-children-what%e2%80%99s-the-point-of-having-them/" rel="bookmark">If you can’t lie to children, what’s the point of having them?</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/spending-time-with-me-increases-prozac-sales-by-like-a-million-percent/" rel="bookmark">Spending time with me increases Prozac sales by, like, a million percent. If you work for Eli Lily please ask them to put me on the payroll immediately.</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/being-scared-makes-me-hungry/" rel="bookmark">Being Scared Makes me Hungry</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/sorry-clementine-winners/" rel="bookmark">Sorry Clementine Winners</a></li></ul></div><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/blog-giveaway-let-sorry-clementine-clothing-dress-you/#comments" title="Comments">Comments (324)</a></p>

<p>&copy;<a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Nielson&mdash;Tales of Wit and Charm</a> All Rights Reserved...Or Else </p><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/08/blog-giveaway-let-sorry-clementine-clothing-dress-you/">Blog Giveaway: let &#8216;Sorry Clementine Clothing&#8217; dress you!</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
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		<slash:comments>324</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You can call me phat, but NEVER call me fat.</title>
		<link>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/you-can-call-me-phat-but-never-call-me-fat/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/you-can-call-me-phat-but-never-call-me-fat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:14:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sarah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogging is for suckers... oh wait.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sarahnielson.com/?p=4426</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over the weekend I helped my friend Summer launch her new blog. To thank me she called me fat. No really, she did.  Not phat, which I totally am by the way, but fat. F-A-T! She didn&#8217;t word it exactly the same way. She&#8217;s way too nice for that. Instead she offered me training sessions [...]<p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/you-can-call-me-phat-but-never-call-me-fat/">You can call me phat, but NEVER call me fat.</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Over the weekend I helped my friend Summer launch her <a href="http://www.blogfullyyours.com">new blog</a>. To thank me she called me fat. No really, she did.  Not phat, which I totally am by the way, but fat.</p>
<p>F-A-T!</p>
<p>She didn&#8217;t word it exactly the same way. She&#8217;s way too nice for that. Instead she offered me training sessions with her personal trainer boyfriend which is exactly the same thing as calling me fat. Or maybe she just wants someone else to suffer as much as she is. Their Friday night dates are held at the gym more often than that. If he weren&#8217;t such a nice guy I&#8217;d insist she break up with him.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m training with Mr. Summer tomorrow. So if you don&#8217;t hear from me he&#8217;s obviously murdered me with a dumbbell. And no Summer, you can&#8217;t inherit my blog. You&#8217;ve got a pretty one of your own now.</p>
<div id="crp_related"><h2>Other posts you may enjoy. Or not, whatever. </h2><ul><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2010/03/i-will-never-date-a-personal-trainer-or-a-polygamist/" rel="bookmark">I Will Never Date a Personal Trainer, or a Polygamist.</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2008/08/toning-up/" rel="bookmark">Toning Up</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2008/04/best-voicemail-to-date/" rel="bookmark">Best voicemail to date:</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2007/03/bbq-season-kick-off/" rel="bookmark">BBQ Season Kick-off</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2006/02/girl-of-summer/" rel="bookmark">girl of summer!</a></li></ul></div><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/you-can-call-me-phat-but-never-call-me-fat/#comments" title="Comments">Comments (5)</a></p>

<p>&copy;<a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Nielson&mdash;Tales of Wit and Charm</a> All Rights Reserved...Or Else </p><p><a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com/2009/07/you-can-call-me-phat-but-never-call-me-fat/">You can call me phat, but NEVER call me fat.</a> is a post from: <a href="http://www.sarahnielson.com">Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm. Click here to read comments!</a></p>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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