Tales of Wit and Charm…

I’ve received quite a few emails asking me to post a vlog of Daisy.  This is not an easy task.  The only time Daisy has ever been interested in my computer is when Miss Kiesha sent me this pug screen saver.  I had to start putting my laptop away after she saw that, rather than leaving it on the floor.  The MacBook humping was getting a little out-of-control.  Her, for once.  Not me.

Internet I tried my hardest, but Daisy wasn’t feeling it.  I’ll try again another time.  Perhaps after I cover my computer screen in peanut butter, or bacon bits.  Here’s my one-eyed little bitch.

If that’s not enough I have a couple of video clips of her on You Tube here and here.

Earlier this week I lost my car in a parking garage. There is only one person to blame for this, and it’s obviously not me. It’s this girl.

Doni is an Internet stranger. Scratch that. Doni was an Internet stranger, until this week when we met for coffee. I think a shiver just went up my mother’s spine. My mom doesn’t understand that the Internet has THE best people. Ever. They bring you presents when they don’t even know you.

When parking in a garage I always write down the location of my car. I can’t be trusted to remember anything as important as the location of my car. I was late meeting Doni for coffee so in my rush I didn’t write down the car location. Enter lost car. Forty five minutes, and three levels later I found my car. To reward myself I stopped at Starbucks. For those of you paying attention, yes, I did just come from a coffee shop. BUT, in our excitement to meet, Doni and I both forgot to actually order coffee. Or at least I did. Back at the second Starbucks I realized I had lost my debit card, after I had ordered my coffee and been prepared. Fuck.

When I tried to explain the situation to the barista, she asked why I didn’t pay with the credit card she noticed in my wallet. I tried to explain to her I’d maxed it out just the night before when I found a pair of Joe ’s jeans I just couldn’t live without in Nordstroms. She looked at me blankly, so in an effort to make her understand I showed her. “Seriously, look at how good these make my ass look.” I did a slow model twirl for her. Again, she looked at me blankly and I gave up. I walked out of a Starbucks for the second time in one day without any coffee, which for me is more tragic than a lost car, or a lost debit card.

After reading every comment left on the Pimp Your Blog post I think it’s safe to say I have the most incredible, supportive readers—you guys are way better than a boyfriend. Now if I could get you to take out my trash and change my light bulbs I’d marry you. All of you. What I’m saying is I’m so glad you bitches are here and want to snuggle and head nuzzle every single one of you. Some of you even twice.

As promised here is the complete list of links left. I’m only a couple blogs in, but will read them all in time; I swear on Daisy. If you don’t see your link here, or if it doesn’t click through properly email me and I’ll set down my bottle glass of wine and fix it.

http://www.mattlogelin.com
http://doniinthecity.blogspot.com
http://talesofmikkimoto.blogspot.com
http://www.glossyveneer.com
http://www.jillwillrun.com
http://thealmostrightword.net
http://www.heavyonthecaffeine.com
http://baby-specialist.com
http://singlemomslife.wordpress.com/
http://www.blumaxx.blogspot.com/
http://www.dropping50.com
http://calicobebop.blogspot.com
http://zeghsy.blogspot.com
http://breathingmoss.wordpress.com
http://blog.calanan.com/
http://TwentyFourAtHeart.typepad.com
http://seriouslyash.blogspot.com
http://www.jessibellam.blogspot.com
http://thewablog.com.
http://knaphrodesiac.blogspot.com
http://myfuckingeye.com
http://amasktohidebehind.blogspot.com
(more…)

My new blog list may not be complete yet, but my life goal certainly is!

Finally I get a chance to see New Kids on the Block again. Milinda and I saw them play on BYU campus when we were in eighth grade. We’re going together again, and this time I’ve promised her I won’t wear a lime green stretchy outfit. Thankfully it is at a different venue this time around. I really don’t want us to get caught at BYU with a flask. I’m terrified of the Mormon police punishing me with a lifetime sentence of polygamy. Eek!

Thanks to everyone who left comments and a link on yesterday’s blog. For me, as a blogger, my favorite part of this site is reading your comments. I can’t wait to delve into all the blog links left. It’s a big list so give me a couple of days to read them all. I’ll get a list of all the links together and post it soon. I promise. But, in the meantime, I have to go put NKOTB’s new song “Summertime” on repeat. Not because I’m obsessed, but because it’s awesome.

I don’t check my blog stats as often as I should. If I sit down and think about just how many people are reading about my vibrator I tend to panic.

Yesterday, in an effort to put off my math homework, I decided to look the blog stats up. Seeing how many of you are out there reading was amazing! I thank you, and my vibrator thanks you. My mom, however, does not thank you. I’m sure the thought of so many people reading about the time I got caught with my hand down my pants, or the time I managed to use the word fuck and Baby Jesus in the same post would give her further reason to hate technology. I can hear her now, “Sarah, those strangers are only encouraging your bad behavior. Don’t come crying to me when you end up chopped up in someone’s freezer somewhere.” My mom actually said that last part to me when she found out about my blog. I didn’t have the heart to tell her if I was chopped into pieces I probably wouldn’t be crying to anyone, because I WOULD BE DEAD!

I realized I have the best source of blog info at my hands. Who knows the Internet better than you people?

So here’s your chance to pimp your own blog. In the comment section I want anyone with a blog, or a favorite blog to leave a link and briefly tell us what your blog is about. My RSS feed could use a little revamp. Get busy. And when you’re done getting busy, come back and leave me some blog links. Not everyone around here (READ: ME!!) is getting a little something, something–which means I’ve got plenty of time for blog reading.

**Edit**Woohoo!  Look at all these links!  To make things easier I’ll post a list of all the links left in comments, so post your link by tomorrow.

When I received this anonymous comment on my “Oh Snap“blog post:

Comment by Curry to a piss head–June 3, 2008 You are so full of this shit, this page makes my colon look like God’s bathroom floor.

I just knew I had to have a colon masthead. I thought about asking my dad for pics from his colonoscopy, but in the end decided against it. It’s bad enough I write the fuck word repeatedly on the Internet, posting pictures of the inside of his colon would be the ultimate betrayal in his book. And frankly, I can’t risk being written out of the will. I’m banking on that cash.

My friend Aimee designed the masthead for me in a matter of seconds. She is seriously amazing, and I’m not just saying that because of that one time she asked me to hump Ben Fold’s leg for her.

Thanks Aimee!