Tales of Wit and Charm…

Last night was BFF night at the AK household. After dinner Rlo and I put Little AK to bed. When the story was finished Rlo went back downstairs. I continued to lie next her for a few more minutes.

While rubbing my back Little AK asked, “Sarah, will you come back and play tomorrow?” “I don’t know sweetie. Keep rubbing my back while I decide.” She continued to rub and asked, “Can Rlo come too? It’s Fathers Day tomorrow… is Rlo a father?” “No, Rlo is our BFF, but he’s not a daddy,” I replied. I could see the confusion in her little eyes when she said, “But Sarah, you always say that Rlo has a Baby Jesus.”

I stifled a giggle and tried to answer her as best I could, “Rlo does have a Baby Jesus, but he’s not a real person.” She looked even more confused than before, and knowing that I’ve done enough damage with the Jesus factor lately, so I wasn’t about to try and clarify. “Honey, I’m going to give you a big hug and kiss, and then go get Rlo so he explain.”

And that’s exactly what I did. Rlo cleans up all my other life messes; why not let him take on this one?

Me: I have a new recipe for you to try on BFF night: One can frozen pink lemonade concentrate, vodka, one pitted peach and ice. Blend and drink.

Rlo: Sounds easy, just like everyone after drinking it.

Me: Ohhh Rlo, that is why I love you! Well that and you put up with my constant abuse, wear pink underwear and love my dog so very much.

Rlo: I must be some sort of angel.

Me: Or a masochist.

Last night, Rlo and I had dinner with Mrs. AK and her kids. After dinner Little AK asked me to read her a story and tuck her in. This has been a longstanding tradition between the two of us, until recently, when she’s decided Rlo can join us.

No matter which book I choose, Little AK wants the male character to be called Rlo-pants. He blushes and I oblige. The three of us crawl into her tiny PINK! bed to hear the story. As I turned over the last page, Little AK immediately dismissed Rlo from her bedroom, so that I could tuck her in properly.

As I was picking up her stuffed animals and placing them on her bed, she looked up at me and said, “Goodnight, Sarah, I love you more than Rlo.”

“Well, sweetie, I love you more than chocolate, and you know how I love chocolate.”

“But, Sarah, I love you more than Google.”

Realizing I couldn’t follow that up, I gave her a quick kiss, turned off the light and ran downstairs to gloat.

I did something very naughty on Saturday night. No, that that. Perverts. Though I wish! Let’s just say my bed has seen busier times.

Saturday night was BFF night at the AK’s house. Which means Mrs. AK and I boss Rlo around in the kitchen while drinking wine. It’s very fun. For us, at least.

The recipe Rlo was cooking with was in his email, so his computer was sitting on the counter. UNATTENDED! I’d be crazy not to take advantage, so I did. I logged onto his Facebook account and left our mutual friend Sabby a message. Not just any message but a naughty one. The best kind! Which I thought was very funny until he reminded me his mom was on Facebook.

It was then something very unusual happened. My belly had a weird feeling and my heart felt funny. At first I thought I was having a heart attack, but after I wiggled my left arm and it felt normal I knew that couldn’t be it. I then realized what the unexplainable feeling was. I was feeling remorse. Me. Remorse. Over my own actions!

It didn’t end there.

Rlo didn’t talk to me for an entire day afterwards. So that icky belly feeling lasted two whole days. The longest two days of my entire life. I almost vowed to never again do something like that again to Rlo. This morning when we finally spoke and he told me he wasn’t still mad, I was really, really thankful for that “almost” part.

When Arlo tried to kill himself to avoid making a traditional Canadian meal, Mrs. AK took matters into her own hands. Her British hands.

Last night she prepared bangers and mash for us. I was more than surprised when I actually liked it. Arlo, on the other hand, scoff at his serving. I have no idea why…