“Sarah, are you coming down here for the 4th of July?”
“I will try, but I’m super stressed out and can’t think straight so I may end up in the wrong small town.”
“Bring your brother. Between the two of you perhaps you can make one functioning person.”
My niece, Hannah, was admitted to the hospital this weekend after having some trouble breathing on her own.
When I walked into the pediatric unit to visit I sailed right though security. Ben, on the other hand, was stopped. This hospital has a strict no molestation policy. Maybe now he’ll finally understand his mustache isn’t funny, but instead creepy as shit.
Hannah is now home and doing much better. Though I do think they may have released her early just to prevent Ben from coming back.
My brother, Ben, and I are in the country for the holidays. The country, in case you don’t know, is the most boring thing ever. When we complained to my mother about how bored we were she suggested we do her hair, go caroling to the neighboring cattle or read Christmas stories to one another.
Umm… no thanks.
Instead we opened a few presents. One of which was from my grandmother and contained a package of needles. I’m not really sure why, but it was fun nonetheless.
The needles resulted in all sorts of Nielson madness. Next year I’m asking for surgical tubing.
The last part of the video is by far the best–Ben always makes me laugh. His concentration in this video is remarkable, but not nearly as funny as the other.
My brother, Ben, called last night to discuss his wedding nuptials.
“Hey, Sarah, I think I finally figured out when I should get married.”
“Um, never? Because that’s good for me.”
“No… April Fools’ Day. This way if I get cold feet and want to back out I can and call it an elaborate joke.”
“That’s actually a really good idea, and I’m obviously going to steal the idea for myself.”
It matters not that neither of us are in a relationship. It’s just good planning if you ask me.
My brother and I went to see Body Worlds 3 at The Leonardo last Sunday. If I was going to look at dead bodies of course I was going to drag Ben along with me. Nothing says family bonding like skinless bodies, right? That last sentence was far creepier than anything in the exhibit, except maybe the guy behind me in line that kept brushing up against me inappropriately. I’d like to have him skinned and tossed into the exhibit, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to go about that. OK, I’m creeping myself out here. Just go read the damn column.
