Being a wino isn’t as easy as it looks.
“Can I help you find something?”
“Yes, I’m looking for a low calorie bottle of wine.”
Blank stare.
Blank stare.
Blank stare.
“So… “
“We don’t actually have low calorie wine. What about vodka?”
“Nah, I like the warm fuzzy from red wine, but without so many calories.”
“Maybe weed would better suit you.”
“Weed?”
“Yes. It’s pretty much a warm wine fuzzy, but without the calories.”
“I think I’d like to stick with wine.”
“I’m sorry, but we really don’t have a low calorie wine.”
“What about wine for people with diabetes?”
“I think diabetics can smoke pot, but I’m not a doctor or anything.”
“I’m not a diabetic, I’m a wino trying to watch my figure.”
“We have vodka.”
