Porn & Pyrex
I’m sure you’re as sick of hearing about my move as I am planning for it.
Well, TOO DAMN BAD.
This moves has consumed my life… and my mothers, WHO IS A FREAKING SAINT! Knowing her daughter freaks out over the slightest bit of change she drove two hours just to help me finish packing.
When I realized I didn’t have any newspaper or bubble wrap to pack the Pyrex I ran to the closest IN Utah This Week stand and stole a few papers. I write for them so it’s OK to steal.
Though, in hindsight, I probably should have grabbed a different newspaper. This week’s issue was the adult issue, so now my sweet, Mormon mother thinks I write for a trashy, porn magazine. Awesome. I cannot wait to hear how she spins this for the family newsletter.
At least she’s not the mother of one of the girls on the cover? I always like to explain to my parents how their children COULD be worse. (Disclaimer: Being on the cover of a porn magazine is not, in my opinion, necessarily “worse” than writing for one, but to our Mothers, it likely would be. I hope I don’t get beat up by any dancers. It takes serious strength to work those poles.)
They allow exotic dancers in Utah?
now that s a chicken comin home to roost! as a parent, i too , have to remember that my son is an adult, however i can still inflict love or pain with my words and actions! the point? well at least you werent in one of the um pics. lmao!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe your mom will be distracted by that ad for Halloween Express.
Cuz those stores are fun. Way more fun than strippers.
Especially that scary one standing up.
On second thought, she looks a bit vampire-ish. Maybe you can convince your mom that the whole page is just one big Halloween ad. Then, you write for a magazine of devil-worshipers, which moms find to be far less frightening than porn. Fact.
Your mom writes a family newsletter? How come I never get one? (how come you call me how come grandpa?)
Its very crucial accident that happen to you. Explain to your mom so that she will know why it happen.