Ovary Toast

Blogged under Daisy the Pug on Wednesday 5 August 2009 at 8:00 am

Last night I asked Daisy the Pug if she wanted a baby or a new puppy. She cocked her head after each word, stood up and walked into the kitchen. She scratched the cabinet door open and pulled out the Hello Kitty toaster.

My dog doesn’t want a human baby or a fur baby. She wants fucking toast, which either says a lot about my parenting skills, or that my dog is a selfish whore.

Either way I called my vagina doctor and canceled the appointment to remove my IUD. Which is probably OK because I don’t have the time, money, or penis it takes to make and care for a baby.

The point of this story is that my dog is a selfish whore, not that my biological clock is ticking.

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7 Comments »

  1. Comment 1by Libby — August 5, 2009 @ 9:19 am

    Don’t have a baby until you are absolutely sure that you never want to sleep again, or have nice things, and that you are totally bored with sex.

    Yeah, I’m bitter today.

  2. Comment 2by Pooba — August 5, 2009 @ 9:21 am

    Toast sounds better to me too.

  3. Comment 3by ryan — August 5, 2009 @ 10:48 am

    mmmm toast.

  4. Comment 4by Andi — August 5, 2009 @ 11:03 am

    If you want to borrow mine, she’s available.

  5. Comment 5by kel — August 5, 2009 @ 3:46 pm

    I’ll gladly donate my time and penis to your baby cause, but I CANNOT be asked to give up my shopping money.

  6. Comment 6by miss. chief — August 5, 2009 @ 4:01 pm

    maybe the dog wants a KITTY

  7. Comment 7by Miss Britt — August 5, 2009 @ 4:15 pm

    At least you can eat toast.

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