In Search of a Man with Comfy Undies

Blogged under Dating sucks balls. Sometimes literally. on Wednesday 27 May 2009 at 2:00 pm

I’m the type of person that loves a routine. Every day when I get home I immediately ditch whatever I’m wearing and put on a white tank top and a pair of comfortable boxers that were left at my house years ago by an old boyfriend.

I’m like the white trash Mr. Rogers, but with a vagina.

Lately there’s a problem with this routine: the boxer shorts have been worn so much they are starting to fall apart. I desperately need a new pair. I’d go buy new boxers, but they are only comfortable to me after they’ve been worn a while. I can’t steal a pair from just anyone. Boxers rub on someone’s junk all day, and I’m VERY picky about whose junk I allow in my life.

The only option is to get a new boyfriend. This new boyfriend needs to have excellent taste in underwear because at the end of the day I’m going to be the one wearing them. Is that something I can add to my Match.com profile?

Every time you share me I won't punch a kitten!
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17 Comments »

  1. Comment 1by insane mother of three — May 27, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

    hmmm … don’t know if they have that option, but if not it should be!

  2. Comment 2by MooKoo Joe — May 27, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

    Hahaha! Highly doubt you want ‘em, but I have some old pairs you can have.

  3. Comment 3by Pooba — May 27, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

    Ha! So what about RLO’s your okay with his junk right?

  4. Comment 4by Sra — May 27, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

    You may end up with a man who wears boxer briefs. Can you live with that?

  5. Comment 5by kel — May 27, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

    I know a certain Canadian…..

  6. Comment 6by anonymous — May 27, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

    Hi,
    I have been following your blog from long time. Off course I liked the way of saying “I am looking” …

  7. Comment 7by sov — May 27, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

    Boxers suck. Those of us that are, ahem, “more” than others need containment. Boxers don’t offer containment, only floppage.

    Floppage bad.
    Containment good.

    Boxer briefs all the way.

  8. Comment 8by Sarah — May 27, 2009 @ 6:17 pm

    Insane mother of three: agreed. I’m just worried it will sound slutty if I’m like hey I’ll take your underwear off.

    MooKoo Joe: Did you just try and rub your junk on me? Awesome.

    Pooba: Um, RLO has junk? EWWWWW.

    SRA: I don’t know. Are they comfy to wander around the house in?

    Kel: So far that’s my best offer. I could deal with Carmen’s junk. Not date his junk, mind you, but wear his junk. Ahhh, this just sounds wrong. I can’t wear his junk. Well maybe if I wash it and he hasn’t let his junk in Matt Lake’s room.

    Anon: Um, thanks?

    Sov: I love that you just told the internet you have giant junk. That’s fantastic.

  9. Comment 9by Andi — May 27, 2009 @ 6:20 pm

    I know a certain Canadian, too…

  10. Comment 10by kel — May 27, 2009 @ 10:05 pm

    Well, there’s always Matt Lake if you can’t see yourself dating Carmen. He does, after all, wear a chain-wallet.

  11. Comment 11by Sarah — May 27, 2009 @ 10:16 pm

    Andi: Dude are you trying to share Canadian junk??

    Kel: Matt Lake’s junk is not allowed anywhere near me. Ever.

  12. Comment 12by Becky — May 28, 2009 @ 7:27 am

    check Craigslist. I hear it’s safe.

  13. Comment 13by Summer — May 28, 2009 @ 9:32 am

    I don’t know what it is, but there seems to be a shortage of boxer wearing guys. It seems like they have all switched to boxer briefs. What’s up with that?

  14. Comment 14by johnny cakes — May 28, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

    I am a boxer guy

  15. Comment 15by Joe Momma — May 29, 2009 @ 10:36 am

    Here is what I can do. I wear tighty whities so I can’t offer you one of mine, those won’t work for you, besides the whole unknown junk issue. What if I put on a pair of boxers OVER my own underwear but under my pants. That way they get worn in, but there is no bum/junk contact. How long would I have to wear them to make them sufficiently “worn”?

  16. Comment 16by gazeteler — May 29, 2009 @ 11:53 am

    im boxer boy ;)

  17. Comment 17by Jones-Keeping Up With Mom — June 3, 2009 @ 10:59 pm

    Yes. Add that to your Match.com profile. BTW, how is match.com working out for you these days? I’m thinking of secretly signing up someone I know on one of those things….

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