So maybe that’s stretching the truth, but wearing the tank top from his concert to bed is practically the same thing as sleeping with him. The only difference is there’s WAY less risk of an STD.
The Devil Needs a Vasectomy
I need a prescription for Xanax if I’m EVER going to enter the downtown post office again. It’s like a damn daycare in that place.
The woman in line behind me had four kids with her under the age of five. OH MY GOD! My vagina just hurts thinking about that. I have nothing against children; I just like them clean and well behaved. I’ve been around enough children to know they can be loud and rambunctious, but these kids were neither of those things. These kids were of the devil.
Most parents that I know like their children to be tolerable in public. This mom wasn’t trying to keep her kids quiet; she was encouraging them to be loud by conducting spelling lessons as we waited in line LOUDLY, and in a horrible singsong, high-pitched voice.
“That’s a garbage can. Can you say icky germs?”
“ICKY GERMS!”
“What letters do you see on it?”
“W-A-S-T-E!”
“Do you know what that spells?”
“Recycle.”
Normally the recycle part would have been adorable, but the decibel and crusty snot level made it far from adorable… miserable even. It’s obvious that if I ever have children I’ll have to hire someone else to raise them. I can’t deal with turning into the woman who sings alphabet songs loudly in public.
No Camping Allowed
My love of books dates back to childhood where I spent a good chunk of my childhood either at the city library, or the county bookmobile. Man I miss the smell of that old bus full of books. Bookmobile night was the highlight of my week.
Each time I visit the country I find myself driving to the library. Old habits die hard I suppose. On this last trip I noticed something new:
A ‘NO CAMPING’ sign at the city library! Every sign is posted for a reason, so I can’t help but wonder who was camping out at the library. I’m hoping it was some semi-nerdy little blond girl who wanted first dibs on new books. Because THAT, that would be fucking adorable.
We-less Intent
I’m relaxed and ready to take on the week after a country girl weekend with Kelli. More than ever I’m convinced she needs to move back to Utah if only for the sake of keeping me happy and productive. I need to prove to her that Utah has just as much to offer her as California, if not more. I mean, really, where in San Diego is she going to find a hotel that offers this?
