To read this week’s column for In Utah This Week online go here. To download the PDF version go here.
And if you’re just as sick as hearing about the damn swine flu as I am then you can flip me off and ignore this post altogether. I wrote my column last week, but should have known the media would beat it to death. Sorry!
In my ongoing quest for a safe, natural looking tan I tried an airbrush tan.
This may or may not have just been an excuse to get naked in front of someone. Sometimes when you’re single it’s good to have that body check. If I’m forced to get naked in front of an actual human it’s harder to let myself go (read: eat fuckloads of chocolate).
Getting the town was quick and easy–my favorite! As I was getting dressed the technician reminded me not to wear any restrictive clothing. I took heed of her warning and tossed my bra and panties into my purse. On my way out she recommended stopping at the store for Aveeno lotion to extend the tan.
I stopped by the drugstore on my way home for the lotion. I needed the tan to last. I spent $30 on it; I wanted to get my money’s worth. I walked up to the cash register and was pleased to see my favorite cashier. The elderly gentleman is always so friendly with me and I just love him. As I fumbled in my purse for my wallet my panties fell out and landed directly in front of him.
NOOOOOOO!!!!
His face turned bright red and he just stared at them not knowing if he should pick them up and hand them to me, or not. I dived across the counter, scooped up the panties, tossed them in my purse and made an attempt at an apology as I threw my money down and ran.
Dammit! Now I have to find a new drugstore, or more modest looking panties.
Today was the last day of classes for this semester, THANK GOD! School at the U of U is a lot harder than I remember. I guess that’s what happens when you actually go to class… you learn stuff, do homework and take tests. Weird.
All that’s left is final projects and finals. And then, of course, I get to do it all again next semester.
I can do this. I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.
I have to chant that to myself daily. I’m not kidding. The good news is I have a two-week break between semesters. The plan for those two weeks is simple: sleep and drink. That project I can definitely handle.
It seems there are some crazy rumors flying around the internet about little old me. It’s disconcerting to say the least.
What rumors you must be wondering? No, it’s not about the time I danced atop a table in a bar. The details of that night die with me.
This is worse.
MUCH WORSE.
It seems my dear friend Kelli has broken our secret pact. So much for “what happens in the country, stays in the country.” Instead of keeping her big mouth shut, she ratted me out to the entire internet. An accident is an accident. I would never purposely hurt a dear friend like Kelli. Unless, of course, she refuses to back to Utah WHERE SHE BELONGS!
And as soon as I’m completely recovered from this nasty bout of the flu I am going to kick that girl’s ass—giving us both a much-needed workout. GIRL FIGHT!
It’s on girly.
I’ve had numerous people tell me how much they hate the new season of “The Hills.” Everyone is complaining how staged the show is, but NOT ME! It’s totally real, scheduled maybe, but very, very real.
Between school and work it’s been difficult to find the time to watch it. In a brilliant multitasking plan my workmate, Robyn, and I have been watching the show together on our lunch break at work as we eat.
It’s perfect! Well, almost perfect. I just need to figure out how to get the nerds to stop protesting:
