Sperm Thief

Blogged under Rloshak is for Lovers,Work is where the nerds are. on Wednesday 17 December 2008 at 9:00 am

Last Saturday was my office holiday party.  Since I didn’t have a date lined up RLO was kind enough to accompany me.  He immediately began to regret this decision once he saw his dinner place card:

3115354734 449f22c755 300x225 Sperm Thief

I thought it was a clever little joke, but in hindsight I can see why people assumed we were married.  For example, while making small talk a co-worker’s husband asked us, “Do you guys have any kids?”  RLO quickly replied, “No, but we’re trying.”

Since the guy didn’t know RLO was kidding I cleared things up by explaining that RLO wasn’t my husband, or boyfriend, but just my very close friend.

Just when I finished explaining RLO muttered, “But that hasn’t stopped her from trying to steal my sperm.”

Um, awkward much?

The guy looked a little confused and I couldn’t really blame him.  I thought about explaining how I constantly beg RLO to be my marriage back-up plan.  Or how I asked RLO for a vial of frozen sperm as a birthday present, you know, just in case I decide I want a baby one of these days.

Instead, I let the conversation drop. It’s sort of uncomfortable discussing future sperm donors over dessert.  That’s more of an entrée conversation.

Every time you share me I won't punch a kitten!
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13 Comments »

  1. Comment 1by Summer — December 17, 2008 @ 9:13 am

    That is so freaking funny!

  2. Comment 2by Cat — December 17, 2008 @ 9:36 am

    Wow, that’s most definitely an entree converstation if I’ve ever heard one. And only if the entree isn’t something gelled or slippery. Too close for eating comfort.

    I think the name tag is clever. Arlo. Very clever.

  3. Comment 3by anon — December 17, 2008 @ 10:07 am

    RLO’s new favorite band:

    http://www.petersmgmt.com/sickofsarah/

  4. Comment 4by Pooba — December 17, 2008 @ 10:08 am

    Ha! I love RLO, have no idea who he is but I love him!

    I had my work Christmas party over the weekend too, open bar, my kinda party!

  5. Comment 5by Misty Fowler — December 17, 2008 @ 10:09 am

    Oh dear lord! I’ve got my company’s holiday party coming up in January, and not sure who to bring. This makes me think I might go alone, which I NEVER do. LOL. Thanks!

  6. Comment 6by kel — December 17, 2008 @ 10:46 am

    You know, you and Rlo had a very similar conversation in front of me while eating cheese fries. It didn’t embarass me enough to keep me from eating the whole plate, though. Perhaps you could step up the gross factor next time, you know, for the sake of my ass.

  7. Comment 7by BedsideTalesMan — December 17, 2008 @ 11:44 am

    That is too funny.

    The frozen sperm would be quite the gift!!!

  8. Comment 8by Amy — December 17, 2008 @ 12:01 pm

    Can you two just get married already?

  9. Comment 9by Tracie — December 17, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

    I echo Amy….

  10. Comment 10by AK — December 17, 2008 @ 3:12 pm

    Nice name card. Laughing so hard.

  11. Comment 11by Natalie — December 17, 2008 @ 10:59 pm

    I wish I had sat at your table. This conversation would have been 10x more hilarious. I’m sure.

    My date also told my table we were engaged. You should have seen Tara’s face, she was so excited for me. Sadly, I had to let her down.

  12. Comment 12by Kate — December 18, 2008 @ 7:11 am

    I can’t believe Rlo won’t donate his sperm to you.

    Those would be one good lookin kid!

  13. Comment 13by Amanda — December 18, 2008 @ 7:49 am

    Hahaha. No wonder you like him so much. “No, but we’re trying.” That was really kind of him to include himself in your plans for the back-up-future.

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