Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

When I was telling RLO my crush had taken me to the Grace Potter concert Saturday night he wasn’t as impressed as he should have been.

Probably because that he had no idea who she was. It could also have been that I may have mentioned that because I wanted to have babies with her hot guitarist I was going to need to borrow his brother for sex.

This request is perfectly logical. RLO’s brother looks exactly like Richie Tenenbaum.  The hot guitarist also looks like Richie Tenenbaum so it makes perfect sense that I have babies with RLO’s brother, rather than the guitarist who is on the road too much.

As usual, RLO ignored most of what I said and asked me to play a song for him.  I played “Ah Mary” and quoted the first part of the song to him:

She’s skilled at the art of deception and she knows it
She’s got dirty money that she plays with all the time
She waters the garden but maybe she just likes the hoses
She puts herself just a notch above human kind

Ater listening he said, “So do you like her because she’s a good musician, or because she reads your diary?”

RLO is such a bitch, which explains why I absolutely adore him.

Yesterday RLO and I got in touch with our inner teen and joined Kelli for a showing of “Twilight.” I’m not above seeing a cheesy vampire love flick–ESPECIALLY when I am able to talk RLO into going.  Which, oddly enough, was quite simple to do. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact he’s been reading the book series.

That’s the only explanation for his complete emotional melt down during the movie. Throughout the movie RLO would lean in close to me and ask me to hold him.  Each time Kelli would glare and us and whisper, “I hate you both!”

We thought we were quite clever.  She did not.  I’d feel bad for ruining the movie for her but I was too busy feeling bad for myself that I got stuck sitting in front of complete movie assholes.

Movie assholes are the worst.  Is it really that difficult to keep your feet from kicking the seat in front of you repeatedly?  Guess so.  Instead of turning around and kindly asking them to stop I chose to pout.  When RLO left the movie for a quick trip to the bathroom he turned to me and said, “Sarah can you please not get into a fight while I’m gone?”

I nodded my head.  He should know by now I’m not about to talk shit on someone until I have someone else to save my ass.  Sure I had Kelli there, but she was too busy making weird moaning noises each time Edward Cullen came on screen.

I survived the movie.  My pride, however, did not.

Just proving to Sarah who is the boss. - TheKid

I’m going to Washington, D.C. for Thanksgiving.  It’s the first time I’ve been there, so the friend I’m staying with is very concerned that I see as many tourist spots as possible.

“Sarah, have you thought about what you would like to do while here?”

“Yes, The International Spy Museum.”

“Well what about the Smithsonian Museums?”

“Um… how about The International Spy Museum?

“You really have to see the Thomas Jefferson Memorial.”

“I really have to see The International Spy Museum.”

“I want to take you to Georgetown, you’ll love it?”

“Oh, is that where The International Spy Museum is?”

“Fine, Sarah, we’ll go.”

This week’s installment of “That’s What She Said.”  It’s all about NKOTB, yes, as a matter of fact I can feel your excitement through the computer. Which means I can also hear you singing the “Click Click Click” lyrics, and let me say dear readers, I’ve never been so proud!