RLO Cheats
I know I said I wasn’t going to write about RLO all the time, but this post is not a regular RLO post. Consider it a public service announcement.
RLO is a big, fat cheater who cannot be trusted.
Since RLO fancies himself a biker and I fancy myself shallow we both decided to give up sugar recently. I’ve been diligently skipping all things sugar. Meanwhile RLO has been stuffing his face with treats left and right. First it was a “harmless” sucker. His thought process was that he wasn’t actually eating sugar so much as sucking it. Sucking is cheating too, just ask the Clinton administration.
It gets worse. Much worse. Last night while I was online trying to figure out a math problem I saw that he was also online. I hadn’t seen him at the gym earlier so I thought he needed me to whine about it. So I did. Only I didn’t use my nice words. There may or may not have been a wiener mention. A few minutes later he responded, “You just sent that message to Sugar, who is here doing her laundry. She says thanks for the info.”
There are a few problems with this:
1) Why is he doing her laundry and not mine?
2) Why is she on his computer trying to have chat conversations with his beautiful best friend. Lesbian much?
3) Why the hell is he hanging out with her anyway? WE GAVE UP SUGAR!
As you can see, this is the second time in a matter of days that RLO has cheated. He’s evil and cannot be trusted as a friend. He can, however, be trusted to help me find a new couch and carry it upstairs on his own. That should burn off those calories he consumed and hopefully teach him a lesson.
We tried to give up sugar over at Chubby Mommy Running Club last week, but I failed, and I can’t even blame a secret lesbian. Oh, and can you pimp out RLO for laundry services?
Dude, I am going to kick Rlo’s ass when I get to Utah. How dare he not do your laundry?
I think you are doing a good deed here. Truly. This was a necessary public service announcement. I think it was definitely time you exposed him for the sugar lover that he is!
Thanks for the warning!
I love your picture of the day today.
Good entry today! Especially the reference to the Clinton admin. and your bulleted points. Very funny!
Tell RLO to put down the laundry and accept my FB chess challenge. (Sorry to use this forum, but RLO is neglecting his FB and I know he looks here)
RLO obviously hasn’t accepted his own gayness yet.
Love the Clinton admin joke.
So yeah, I tried giving up sugar for a month before hiking Mt. Olympus, and I did fine for about 2 or 3 weeks, and then I just couldn’t take it any longer and I caved. Then Halloween month came and I changed my diet to the one major food group: bite-sized candy bars. I may or may not have given myself diabetes.
So now I’m trying to rein it in again, but it’s hard to curb addiction!
Dearest Sarah, do I ever understand thy pain. In April of this very year, my father was diagnosed with a cholesterol level higher than Cheech Marin himself. Mine, too, had sadly reached quadruple digits. So, together, Pa Jangle and I his wee little Janglet, swore off meat for lent.
Oh ho ho, was I perfect? Nay, not if one considers bacon grease meat. But I worked diligently, tirelessly eating naught but that which sprouts from the earth, drenched in grease.
A few weeks into the venture, I was speaking on the internets with my father, saying many an embarrassing thing regarding my manly parts, which I shan’t utter in the presence of a lady such as thyself. I was returned with this message:
“You just sent that message to Bristol.”
I was furious, believing myself to have heard “Brisket”. To take company with beef! After our family pact regarding vegetarianism! And to allow this Brisket to read my most personal of things. Jealousy, hatred, rage, and depression all spewed forth from the leaky pipes of my heart.
“She’s got my meat in her mouth.”
Ah! Sweet relief, sweet relief. Twas not a slab of Brisket, but a girl! And it was not he, but only she, that consumed meat! Quickly I forgave my father of all sins, and blessed him on his sexual ventures, bidding him to wear rubber for my sake. Sadly he did not, but one must hope, wherever this elusive woman may be, she is not with child
Shame on Rlo, what is an appropriate punishment for a best friend cheating?
Screw RLO. I have a brand new washer and dryer. Front loading. AND I have organic laundry detergent. Because I am better than a sugar high.
I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, kthksbai.
Who calls anyone sugar? Is she from the Carolinas? And RLO plays chess? Tell him not to play AK, just ask Kenneths.
Please get married already……..
Bastard!
“Lesbian much” –That is the funniest fucking thing EVER!
I gave up sugar too–6 days ago & it is a bitch!