The Great Divide
It is with medium sadness that I inform you of my once again single status. Non-Troll Doll has gone back to the kingdom of trolls. Sure I’m sad, but at long last I can don my retro polka-dot heels again. Oh, how I’ve missed those babies.
NTD is a fantastic guy, but we had one huge problem: he wanted the freedom to date me as well as other women. Um, hell no! I’ve been there and done that. Here’s the thing… I am in my thirties, not my twenties, which, for me, means I’m not as willing to play the dating game anymore. There’s just no way I’m going to put myself into a situation that will undoubtedly cause me a great amount of anxiety and stress.
Towards the end of our very short, two-month relationship, I found myself more interested in hanging out with my BFF RLO than Non-Troll Doll. Internet read closely: this in no way means I’m going to be dating RLO. I read your comments and emails; I know your thoughts on the subject. He’s hot I get it, but RLO is dating Jesus. And while I can’t compete with Jesus, I bet I could drink him under the table. Twice.
Say what you will but I’m still rooting for RLO. He’s the perfect man for you, so what if he loves Jesus.
Sorry about the troll doll guy. That’s the pits. I think you did the right thing.
Sorry about NTG.
The thought of you and RLO dating is funny…like my parent’s-bedroom-door-locked funny.
um, didn’t he get the memo about how you are more than enough woman for him? hmm… i know i sent it in triplicate.
um trying to date someone that is/has/is thinking about dating jesus sucks. majorly. you simply cannot win. jesus doesnt care that you can drink him under the table. jesus doesnt care that you’re hot. until you can raise from the dead, walk on water AND turn water into wine (under pressure) all at the SAME time…forget it.
btw, did you see kathie lee gifford demonstrating the wine rack on the today show? i’m sorry, who gave her permission to show her breasts on tv? even if within the confines of a sports bra padded with a plastic bag holding wine.
ew.
“I am in my thirties, not my twenties, which, for me, means I’m not as willing to play the dating game anymore.”
WORRRRRRRRRRRRD.
It will be Ok. Crying on RLO’s shoulder is almost as good as dating him…..
Good for you for putting your foot down! Screw the dating games. They’re ridiculous, anyways.
Seriously, RLO is hot. From what I’ve read on your blog, he’s a great guy. And you guys make a CUTE couple.
From what I understand about Jesus from the bible, he and his followers drank wine like it was going out of style. The dude was a lush. You know this because anytime they ran out of wine, he’d just make some more by running the tap. I’d be interested to see a drinking contest between you and Jesus.
I finished reading this entry and noticed the blog to the right is for Sugardaddie.com
Perhaps its a sign?
Awww – well, then, I’m medium sorry.
My cat could drink Jesus under the table.
Sorry about NTD. And I understand totally. Even when I was in my 20s I was not willing to date someone who wanted to date other women. It’s just not my thing.
I agree.. it’s not worth the stress and anxiety.
You go girl!
That’s ok, NTD’s comments on here were a wee bit annoying anyway, assuming he was who I thought he was. Who am I to talk about annoying comments, anyway?
Too bad Rlo is a Jesus freak. But at least you can be good friends without worrying about UST (unresolved sexual tension).
Just think that if you could turn water into wine it would be a win/win for everyone.
Being a former single guy, all of my experiences were with dating women. I highly recommend you give it a try…
To Sra:
I regret to inform you that I am not, in fact, Non-Troll Doll. I am, quite the contrary, as Trollish as is humanly possible, and my Doll nature is one of my highest regarded attributes. I also take great, albeit petty and short-lived like that of a goldfish, offense at your suggestion that I am wee, bit, and/or annoying. Furthermore, I would never, under any circumstances, wish to date a woman other than Mr. Bellum and his captainy four-legged winking friend Daisy. I would be to her as a thousand RLOs, scooting around in tight-fitting shirts which reveal my muscular bosom, tilting my head slightly and smiling with toothy delight.
Good day.
RLO can date Jesus, he just has to give you his sperm so you can make beautiful babies together.
Simple.
I’m sorry Sarah…are you sure there’s no RLO/Jesus in your future?
The first thing I thought of when my ex and I broke up was the fact that I could buy that new pair of fabulous heels I had seen at Aldo. Dating a short guy has its disadvantages. Especially when it comes to women’s shoes.
His. Loss.
End of story.
Sorry about you and NTD. He sounds like he needs to grow up a bit on the relationship front.
Medium condolences. At least we have PR tonight and RLO and Keith should be there.
Fucker was too short, anyway.
Yes, yes, Sarah love. We do have Public Relations to attend to this evening, and many RLOs and Keiths to whisk our troubles clear into the deep blue sky and head on till morning. Hi ho hi ho it’s off to work we go!
Chin up, girlie girl. You got yourself fun aplenty a janglin on down this here train, and while I am sure your chocolate cake (and even its delicious side of raspberries) filled your mouth with joy, that chocolate cake was simply not a Troll Doll. And you, darlin darlin, deserve nothing less than the real green-haired, big nosed thing to come a-waddlin into your life. Gems of chocolately troll-pleasure hide within the dark caves of life, and it is up to each of us to hire ourselves little old men to dig them out for us.
You’re welcome.
Wow, that’s crappy…sorry to hear it (in a medium way).
Although, it is a shame that you let him slip away before you could force him to reveal his pot of gold (do trolls have pots of gold like leprechauns and other diminutive creatures?).
Oh, and you have to keep an eye on Jesus. You’re busy drinking, he’s turning his wine back into water and giving you the fake-out for the win.
Welcome back to the land of the single ladies. I will make a point of having some fabulous boys at our outing later this month for you to choose from. I’ll also make sure they’re single, straight and non-jesus-dating!
This very afternoon, while ordering a barrel of French Fries, I perchanced the name on my server’s tag.
Jesus Gonzales.
The very man who has stolen RLO from you so fiercely! I quickly grabbed him by the throat collar and threw him to the floor, yelling “YOU SIR HAVE NO RIGHT! MAY YOU DRINK UNDER THE TABLE IN LONELINESS ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!” Anger fills my veins just thinking that I had come this close to giving my money to such a traitor!
This is nothing a bottle (or ten) of wine won’t fix. In the immortal words of Oscar Hammerstein, “I’m gonna drink that man right outta my hair.”
Or something to that effect.
UGH! I hate that! And I totally agree with you on the “I’m 30+ I don’t DO the Multiple Dating” thing.
I went out with a guy for oh, a month or so before I found out I was one of FOUR! And this was AFTER he met my kid. I would have killed him but I don’t look good in stripes.
Sorry hon.
@juggee … any guy that is freaked out by dating a woman taller than he is definitely a troll. Tall women should still wear heels because it makes their legs seem even longer and sexier …
Re: “I know your thoughts on the subject. He’s hot I get it, but RLO is dating Jesus.”
Also… RLO, darlin’ that he is, doesn’t like Daisy, right? Can’t date a man who doesn’t like Daisy. Who would have bed “rights” and who would be sleeping on the floor? My bet is that Daisy wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor…
Can’t you turn RLO to the dark side?
C’mon, you have the ability!
OOOhhhh, brain flash.
Trollpop = RLO.
???
Sorry to hear.
These things happen. Sometimes I feel like being single in my 30s is a godsend. And then… well… you realize you’re in your 30s. And single. And it just sucks.
Oh well, best of luck to you!
Are you dating RLO? I think you’re stop playing, son.
Sorry to hear that Sarah. And could you answer 2 questions for me.
Isn’t RLO gay?
Isn’t Trollpop Jangelstein the guy you were dating?
Awww Sarah, I’m sorry to hear about that. Ya know, he just wasn’t “the one” and from your post the other day about your confused feelings and all, I think you knew he wasn’t the one. Because when you find that person, you’ll know. You’ll just feel it.
As for one of your posters, I seriously worry about that nut stalking you in real life. I don’t find it the least bit amusing that this person posts some of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.
If RLO is dating Jesus, does that mean he isn’t gay? RLO, not Jesus. Well either. Wait no, Jesus isn’t gay, I don’t think. Oh hell, now I’m just confused. Thanks a lot!!!!
Kisses,
Jules
Great comments so far!
Sorry about your medium sadness. But better now than later. I agree with the not dating others rule. I’d loose too much sleep and I love sleep.
P.S. I pronounce “Trollpop” in my head as “Trollup” and s/he scares me a bit.
Laura, I did the SAME thing with “trollpop/trollup”! ~giggle~ Nice to know I’m not alone in the pronunciation or concern!
Going through the same shit, hang in there.
I think Jesus would be okay with a threesome. And Jesus could talk RLO into it. Perfect. And if polygamy is good enough for Utah, so is polyandry. You could all three get married.
I am both shocked, saddened, and deeply mournful that many such as Julie and Laura speak such crude ignorances regarding myself.
Ah, would that I could stalk Sarah like celery in the grocery store! But alack, my lack of legs has made this task far too difficult. I wish only the fairest of events to befall my piratey friend Daisy and her owner.
lxplnbpy…
lxplnbpy…