That’s What She Said–In Utah This Week
To read my column this week for In Utah This Week click here!
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To read my column this week for In Utah This Week click here!
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Dear Mrs. Snielsonatinthisweek,
I have read thy article, and have found a strange contraction which maketh the blood of my cockle run hot with white rage.
You claim (quite eloquently, I may add) that one might “stash a bottle
of Jack Daniels whiskey
in your glove compartment.
I did both.”
Contrast this to the claim of 08/17/2008: “I assure you this whiskey wasn’t mine. No really, it wasn’t; I’m a vodka girl.”
Now I am forced to accept one of two conclusions, neither of which tickles my undergarments the right way. 1. You have lied to us, and the bottle is, in fact thine own. 2. You have stashed it, but it is not yours; in other words, you are a poor, alcoholic, Jack Daniels thief who would steal another man’s cherished beverage and hide it in your vehicle!
The first option (that there may be the slightest notion of untruth or comedic gestures in any sentence penned by yourself) is, of course, an uproarious claim, and I daren’t accept it. Therefore, I must plead with thee, let not the bubbly callings of whiskey whistfully whisk thee away into a Jack hiJacking Jerk, Jocularly Jesting Jubilant Justifications for Judiciously Jettisoning Jiggers or Jugs of another Gentleman’s Ginlike Juice in thy own Jalopy, be it Jetta, Jeep, or Jaguar! I trust I have made myself very clear, young lady.
If you are interested in small town festivals, the Sanpete County fair wraps up tomorrow in Manti, Swiss Days will be in Midway on the 29th and 30th and the Miner’s Day Parade will be in Park City on September 1st.
Trollpop, my little weirdo, the whiskey was placed in the car by yours truly, but was enjoyed by Kelli and Ben. So as you see I’m correct in both print article and previous post, because I am 100% awesome and troll free!
Did I even once doubt your truthfulness? Nay, I had always known you would come and grace me with the full, unbridled truth! May your sunny South Dakota bound friend with freshly braided hair and freshly fought pillows, as well as your mullet-growing kin, enjoy the Jack of Daniels for many days to come!
Trollpop, I live in SD as in San Diego.
Ah, forgive me.
Tis a shame. South Dakota is my own homeland. A vibrant city, that South Dakota. I recall with great clarity, rides with my father down 4th Ave’s Florescent Lightbulb district, past the Civic Center, past the F Street (after a quick peek inside by my old man of course!), past Rock Bottom, past Horton Plaza and its delicious Ben & Jerry’s on the top floor; oh, the country memories which city folk such as thyself may never know.
cute boots! add super thick socks to your preventive boot-wearing care. I know whereof I speak.