Bedroom Astronomy

Blogged under Uncategorized on Friday 1 August 2008 at 8:30 am

Yesterday was a complete waste of my time.  No wine and cheese mixer, just a lot of waiting around in a lobby that thinks children’s books are far more important than gossip magazines.  Puhh-lease.  I’m all about seeing stars in the bedroom, trust me, but this isn’t typically the way I go about it:

Sadly there were no hot cops like you people suggested. Proving you cannot believe everything you read on the Internet. The Internet lied to me. Again. First you let me to believe I could learn to be a master in bed by reading one email, or grow my penis six inches with a vitamin; then you lied and told me the F.B.I was patrolling Facebook. Internet, I’m starting to trust you less and less every single day.

The good news is I have forgiven you, but someone still owes me a hot cop. Get on it.

17 Comments »

  1. Comment by Kate — August 1, 2008 @ 8:35 am

    You mean you can’t growl your penis six inches by taking a vitamin?

    Where is the justice?

  2. Comment by Kate — August 1, 2008 @ 8:35 am

    ha ha ha growl! I meant grow.
    But hey, if a vitamin makes your penis growl, well even better!

  3. Comment by Lisa — August 1, 2008 @ 9:15 am

    I can rent you one!

  4. Comment by Kiesha — August 1, 2008 @ 9:41 am

    http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o132/Yuriona/CalCopPromo13.jpg

    That is a wholelotta hot cop action. I’ll see if I can arrange something and get them over to your apartment.

  5. Comment by jantzie — August 1, 2008 @ 9:45 am

    Firstly, I didn’t know they made footie pajamas in any size larger than toddler.

    Secondly, I don’t think there is any amount of money a parent can put away for college from a child’s modeling career that can take away the pain of being photographed spread eagle in footie pajamas for all time.

  6. Comment by Kelli — August 1, 2008 @ 9:55 am

    San Diego has the most hot cops in the country. This is an internet truth. Which I made up.

  7. Comment by Christy — August 1, 2008 @ 10:16 am

    No hot cops? Seriously? Well, I hope you swiped that Bedroom Astronomy book–I’m sure it could com in handy for something…someday…maybe?

  8. Comment by melissa — August 1, 2008 @ 10:46 am

    what about rich handsome lawyers? shouldn’t there be rich handsome lawyers in a courtroom?

  9. Comment by WindyCity — August 1, 2008 @ 11:20 am

    Hmm, can’t help you on the hot cop…would you settle for firemen?

  10. Comment by Kate — August 1, 2008 @ 11:36 am

    In Iowa, the cops are old..
    with beer bellies..
    and they sit in donuts shops
    and drink coffee.

    Life is SO unfair!

  11. Comment by Trollpop Janglestein — August 1, 2008 @ 12:06 pm

    Oh Internets, such treacherous liars yet such fun companions are these many tubes :-(

    For instance, I was told just the other day that public fornication is a crime! HA! Oh internet, perhaps some are foolish enough to believe your poppycock, but not this Trollpop, oh no ho ho nor a bottle of rum!

    Furthermore, I swear by my will and faith, before the sun sets over Windy Latter Day Saints Town, you shall receive a cop from me so hot you will not know where to put it!

  12. Comment by Shannon — August 1, 2008 @ 12:39 pm

    You are obviously living in the wrong city if you do not have hot cops! And even when you find a city with hot cops, apparently you have to sit in a courtroom for four days staring at the hot cop before he asks you out. That was my method.

    Come to Orlando and serve on a jury! It’s worth it.

  13. Comment by schmutzie — August 1, 2008 @ 12:53 pm

    You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
    http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/08/five-star-friday-edition-17.html

  14. Comment by Adam — August 1, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

    Ah come on now Sarah, the internet did not lie to you, you just entered the wrong search string surely? Or you used Cuil to search for your answers….

  15. Comment by Trollpop Janglestein — August 1, 2008 @ 5:53 pm

    As I have spoken, so I have brought thee gifts of Cops a-Boiling!

  16. Comment by TheKid — August 2, 2008 @ 11:03 pm

    ^ Trollpop, that’s awesome! I laughed so hard when I saw that. I’ll have to print that out and stick it on Sarah’s desk at work.

  17. Comment by jantzie — August 3, 2008 @ 2:46 pm

    Speaking of, Schmutzie and I should get together and do our own cop show, Schmutzie and Jantzie. It would be the Simon and Simon of the 2000s.

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