My New Slogan–Think Before You Drink
I had a date Saturday night. Rather than be creative or at all interesting, we opted for a movie at my place. I’m quickly realizing the only good taste non-troll doll has is in women, because this is the second worst movie I’ve seen in the past month. The other god awful movie was also his pick.
I’m not kidding, this movie was so boring I pulled out my iPhone and read the newspaper while he continued to watch. I continued to refill my wine glass, and even that didn’t make the movie better. I whined enough that he finally turned the movie off, gave me a kiss and went home.
The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen for coffee and vitamins–the breakfast of champions, yo! While I waited for the coffee to brew I grabbed a handful of vitamins and reached for an orange vitamin drink that had been left on my counter. I tossed the pills into my mouth and took a giant swig of the orange drink.
Something didn’t taste right. In fact it was downright disgusting. I spit the drink and pill concoction into the sink. Still gagging over the taste, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and picked up the drink for a closer inspection. I’d somehow forgotten he’d mixed a few shots of vodka into the drink. Warm vodka is one of the least pleasant things to experience on a Sunday morning. Well that, and church.
Phew…
I thought it was a cigarette butt, someones “chew cup”, or the Stiffler drink from “American Pie”
not the way to start a day…
I’m guessing you’re fully awake now. Perhaps you’ve found a cure for Monday mornings?
I enjoy the sight of Onions and Two-Faces, and a warm swig of church on a Sunday morning is oft what puts my jingles a jangling
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Heartily glad at your happy weekend, and pray many more befall you and Mr. Trollpop Beaustein.
Warm vodka only works through an IV, so you don’t have to taste it directly. Just an fyi.
If you have not seen it, for movie #3, rent “Idiocracy.”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/
If you like satire, especially of our consumer-insane society, it’s hilarious. In the society of the future, the top TV show is called “Ow, My Balls.” That’s about as highbrow as it gets.
Or you could just watch “Titanic” and spoon.
I am with you on the warm vodka…AND CHURCH! (shudder)
I think that warm, flat beer is far worse in the morning than warm vodka. I have been in a situation where, lying in bed, I was convinced that my life depended on moving my head as little as possible. Unfortunately, the only beverage within reach was the forgotten half empty beer bottle(s) from the previous night’s excesses. The only way to take the Excedrin tablets vital to my continued existence was to consume the warm, flat and stale beer. It was not pleasant, but I did survive. Barely.
Somehow I think the warm vodka was better than church.
You can at least spit the vodka out.
Just an observation.
I don’t let my husband pick movies any more after I had to sit through “Signs.” You can kill aliens with water? I paid $15 for this?
Uh, yeah… neither of those movies seems particularly interesting. Maybe “Idiocracy” would be something both of you could enjoy. At least it’s funny.
Oh no! That movie is the worst ever!!!
Maybe the booze was the only thing that made him believe the film was any good! Maybe he doesn’t have bad taste after all… maybe he’s just a good ol’ fashioned drunk.
I drank some rotten milk yesterday morning.
*Shudder*
Once stumbled out of bed at 6am, took two midol with a gulp of the clear liquid in a water bottle that was close at hand. Tequila.
Cheap, abandoned tequila-in-disguise. No idea how it got in my house. Sent my PMS packing, though!