I went to the Utah Arts Festival yesterday. I had an amazing day and ran into some really cool people. Unfortunately, today I feel absolutely crummy. I can’t figure out if it’s the wine, being out in the heat all day, or possibly the fact the wine, too, was out in the heat all day. Whatever the case, it’s safe to say my feet aren’t the only icky today. And with that, I’m going back to bed.
Rlo, being the good BFF he is, came over to fix my bike today. I left it out all winter and it needed a lot of tender loving care that only Rlo has the patience for.
Daisy was outside with us, and she started chasing her tail as she often does when she’s excited about something. Rlo takes one look at her and asks, “Sometime you’re going to have to explain the appeal of being a dog owner. I don’t get it.” Now let me just say that Rlo doesn’t hate all dogs, he just hates Daisy. He’s obviously a horrible person.
I thought about it for a second and came up with the perfect comparison. “Daisy for me is like Jesus for you. You don’t understand why I care so much about Daisy, and I sure as hell don’t understand why you care so much about Jesus.”
Rlo shook his head in agreement, and said, “Yeah, at times both keep us from doing things we really want to do. We always have to stop and think about the consequences.”
“Yup,” I say. “Daisy and Jesus are practically the same thing.”
Today marks the fifth day of my soda free existence.
For years my dentist has begged me to give up soda. Each time I have a new cavity I consider it, but two seconds later I yearn for the burn. I love the way diet soda burns until it hits the belly. After just one sip, I tingle and for a moment I find myself happy–happiness that my dentist wants to take away from him. He is obviously an evil man that deserves to be kicked in the Baby Jesus.
I didn’t consciously decide to give up soda, it just sort of happened. The fridge at my office is normally packed with enough Diet Dr Pepper to hydrate a third world country. At the beginning of the week, when I wandered over for my fix, there were no diet sodas. I whined and bitched and then went without. Two days later it hit me that I hadn’t had soda in two days. TWO DAYS PEOPLE! Since I drink massive quantities of coffee I didn’t have any caffeine withdrawal headaches, so I went with it. I haven’t gone this long without soda since I was a kid. And maybe not even then, I do, after all come from a Mormon background. Where caffeine is served cold and in diet form.
I’m scheduling an appointment with my dentist just so I can inform him of my progress. Well that and possibly score some bubble gum flavored dental floss. Yes, as a matter of fact I DO think I’m twelve-years-old. He will be so proud! But I’ll still want to kick him in the Baby Jesus.
Read this week’s column for In Utah This Week here. I was lazy with the camera that night, but here are the few pictures that we took. I was far too busy watching the hippies in front of me drop acid and then immediately pass out.
I did appreciate the medics telling them,”If possible try and slow down on your drinking for the remainder of the night.” This is why I am not in the heath care industry. I would have said, “Stupid fucking kids, what did you expect would happen? Now if possible, GO HOME AND WASH YOUR HAIR!” This is where I slightly differ from a caring individual.
I’ve been reluctant to write about Daisy loosing her eye. My natural coping mechanism is to turn anything the slightest bit painful into a joke–as seen here.
Daisy got hurt a few years ago. I only have myself to blame.
I was staying in the country with my parents. My dad doesn’t believe that dogs should live indoors. We always had a dog growing up, but it was my dad’s dog to take running and to the farm. We were never allowed to bring the dog indoors. At the time this didn’t really bother me. I didn’t know anything different. In fact I grew up not really liking dogs. I remember avoiding a friend’s house because she had an inside dog. I couldn’t even sit down on her couch because the thought of dog hair freaked me out. I can’t help but laugh at how silly I was. Now, not only does Daisy hair cover nearly everything I own, but I also let her sleep in my bed. I think a shiver just went up my dad’s spine.
My dad doesn’t allow Daisy to run rampant through his house, like she does at mine. It’s his house so I respect his wishes. When we visit Daisy has to stay in my old bedroom. Which may have something to do with the fact I rarely visit home, that and the fact the closest Starbucks is over an hour away. (Insert gasping sounds here.)
This particular day I let Daisy outside while I made a quick phone call. Normally I would go outside with her. The yard is not fenced and it’s the country. Who knows what could happen. Some farmer may steal my unsuspecting pug and turn her into a farm cat, or worse yet an outdoor dog.
While on the phone I heard a sound that I will never forget. It was the sound of pain. I dropped the phone and ran outside. There I found Daisy with a bulging eye too disgusting to describe. My best guess is my dad’s lab pushed her away with his paw and it caught her eye just right.
After two expensive surgeries my girl was left with one eye. And this left me with a broken heart. Even now, writing about it, I feel sick inside and completely inadequate. I let my girl lose a fucking eye. If I can’t keep my pug safe, what makes me think I could someday be a good mother?
Yes she’s just a dog. But that dog is my baby.
I’ve received quite a few emails asking me to post a vlog of Daisy. This is not an easy task. The only time Daisy has ever been interested in my computer is when Miss Kiesha sent me this pug screen saver. I had to start putting my laptop away after she saw that, rather than leaving it on the floor. The MacBook humping was getting a little out-of-control. Her, for once. Not me.
Internet I tried my hardest, but Daisy wasn’t feeling it. I’ll try again another time. Perhaps after I cover my computer screen in peanut butter, or bacon bits. Here’s my one-eyed little bitch.
If that’s not enough I have a couple of video clips of her on You Tube here and here.
