BBQ Season Tips
When purchasing beer to take to a Summer BBQ you are attending, do not pick the brand by the cutest packaging, because ultimately you will be mocked. REPEATEDLY. Stick to the manliest, cheapest brand you can find. Trust me, Internet.
“Fuck you, I’m a wine drinker,” only gets you so far. And so far I mean mocked even more.
And what, pray tell, did you purchase?
It depends on your barbecue (whether there will be beer snobs present or not) but PBR is always a big hit, although commonplace. Olympia is an eye-catcher because people rarely see it these days. My local Tesoro stocks it, so I impress all the Northwesteners with it.
I make absolutely no recommendations for beer snob barbecues.
Actually, I take that back–I bet your prissy cute beer would go over well at a beer snob barbecue.
Beer has cute packaging?
Yes I didn’t know it had cute packaging either. Anyone who makes fun of the packaging probably doesn’t really like beer that much anyway.
My current favorite is Honey Moon by the makers of Blue Moon. It tastes best in a glass and not out of the bottle (as most beers do.) It’s not being a beer snob, it’s just appreciating good beer. PBR is not good beer, although it has its place with chips and salsa and shitty drunken parties.
PBR tastes like I imagine cat piss would.
Polygamy Porter is always a good choice. Just sayin’…
Pabst Blue Ribbon all the way.
Lostinutah confirms my comments.
Sarah, can I tell you how much I’m laughing at Sra’s post right now?!?!
…so perfect. Should we warn her?
While I’m never afraid to rock the PBR, I DID bring Polygamy Porter to that shindig.
And Maddie is still fired for not showing up.
You can never go wrong with good ‘ole Budweiser. I drank Bud for years and years (still do on rare occasion) and it never let me down.
When working at a liquor store, its beneficial to at least pretend that you drink alcohol (I’m allergic to it!) and/or have any idea what people are talking about.
I didn’t know what PBR was for the first like month that I worked as a liquor store clerk.
And people buy wine by the label all the time - I think its perfectly acceptable to buy beer the same way!
Shit! Thomas was there?! I haven’t seen Thomas for a million years!
I had coffee with Aimee and Lo, then spent a thrilling evening at D.I. and rearranged this week’s business trip. Sat night + Delta customer service = loser. I obviously need an intervention. Agoraphobia is lame.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing beer based on cuteness. If it were my barbecue I’d be happy you bothered to bring beer at all if you dont drink it anyway.
Did you (or anyone) taste it?
What kind ?
At least you didn’t take Zima. You would have been fired AND sent to stand in the corner with a Dunce cap.
I usually pick the brand that looks the least American - i.e. most European (preferably German), and by thinking, most authentic.
You bought Land Shark, didn’t you?
Hmmm… you did not know this information BEFORE the BBQ? I expected more from you Ms Nielson!
Actually I brought SRA’s favorite beer. Honey Moon made by Blue Moon makes me giggle. I think it was something about seeing Rlo holding it in the Whole Foods beer section that did it for me. And, yes, beer packaging can be cute: blue and yellow with a cutesy name. CUTE, fucking cute!
Quick fact: Budweiser is actually just the piss of German beer drinkers.
Quick Fact 2: PBR is actually just the piss of Budweiser drinkers
Quick Fact 3: Actually, you don’t want to know where Coors comes from.
pr0le confirms MY comments.
Honey Moon is GREAT beer. You can bring it to my house any time.
I grew up in upstate NY drinking Keystone, which is about as cheap as you can get. HOWEVER, a new guy I’m seeing recently brought over Lucky Kat (the seasonal ale of Magic Hat) to my apartment because it had a pink label. I have a feeling that pussy-whipping is in store in my near future.
At least that’s better than “Leave me alone with my Coors Light, asshat.” Coors Light does not exude power.