And now with Extended Jesus
My brother was out of town yesterday so I picked up his four-year-old twins from daycare. I knew it was going to be a good night when I walked in and Hannah started jumping up and down and told her teacher, “That’s my aunt Sarah, she’s a total rockstar.”
As per usual, the ride home consisted of Jesus talk. These kids are just as obsessed with him as I am. So much for the Jesus talk dying (Puntastic, no?) down after Easter.
“Aunt Sarah, we have to take a different road home.”
“Why, buddy?”
“Because Jesus brought a big, yellow pipe and left it on our street.”
“Um… why would Jesus leave a pipe in your street?”
“Aunt Sarah, the road is broken. Some big tractors came and dug it up, and then Jesus left a big, yellow pipe to fix it with.”
“Did this Jesus guy have a hard hat on?”
“Yes.”
“Buddy, I’m pretty sure that was a construction worker, not Jesus.”
“NOOO, it was Jesus… I just know it.”
“Seriously, buddy, I know for a fact Jesus is not a construction worker. Grandma told me he was a carpenter.”
Silence. Oh heavenly silence.
And then… in an amazed tone he asks, “Grandma knows Jesus?!”
Fuck.
I wanted to tell him that his grandma is obsessed with Jesus. And not in the fun/blasphemous way I am, but in the “Jesus is the Savior” kind of way. I’ll let him figure that one out on his own.
lol this is my favorite post… lol “Grandma knows jesus?!”
You somehow managed to write about kids while using the F word, Jesus and still managed to make it funny and not offensive. I love your talent!
freaking hilarious. really.
When my oldest daughter was 5, we had one of her friends over whose family goes to church (we don’t.) I overheard her friend say something about Jesus, and my daughter said very matter-of-factly, “it’s Jesus CHRIST, actually.” I love these little kid Jesus moments–priceless!
Actually, isn’t it Jesus H Christ?
“NOOO, it was Jesus… I just know it.”
Isn’t that the perfect answer for everything?
i heard jesus lives in west valley
I can totally picture his eyes getting HUGE with that knowledge.
I heard Jesus loves me.
Emily
http://www.twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/
ha ha ha i both love and hate children all at the same time =o)
Hi, love your blog – I just stumbled across this entry and nearly peed my pants. (Yes, that’s actually a compliment – believe it or not…)
Kids are awesome, you never know what will come out of their mouths. Too cute!