Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

It was a rough night last night. It started when I couldn’t drive up my brother’s semi-steep driveway due to massive amounts of snow, immediately followed with forgetting the garage code.

When we finally got into the house the alarm went off. I couldn’t get it to stop and Carter immediately started to cry. Followed by Hannah yelling because Carter wouldn’t stop crying. Ten very loud minutes later I convinced the alarm company I wasn’t there to harm the children, because if so, I would have DONE IT ALREADY!

I knew there was only one thing that would cheer the little buggers up: “Baby Got Back.”

And it so, so did:
The fact the kids now know the word horny guarantees I’ll never be asked to stay overnight with the kids again. It was totally worth it.

Of course I told him, “Hell no! Get a job and buy your own.”

“Aunt Sarah, Baby Jesus is incredible.”

“What makes his so incredible?”

“Because he lives in outerspace and flies here to grow up.”

“Hannah I’m not good on this whole religion thing, but that sounds a lot more like Superman to me.”

“Who?”

The Yuppie strikes again–click here to read this week’s “The Dating Years.”

I found my Victoria’s Secret swimsuit catalog on the ground in the snow, rather than in my locked mailbox. I suspect my postal carrier is just as disgusted about delivering this particular seasonal catalog in a snowstorm, as I am about receiving it. I think it’s safe to assume my postal carrier is a woman.