Tales of Wit and Charm…

What is it about this time of year that makes people want to search online for LDS porn? Is that the new trend in Christmas gifts? If so, I missed the memo. In the span of two days I’ve had ten people link to my blog by googling “lds porn.” Last year around this time I had the same problem, so I’m blaming the holidays.

Here are some other gift suggestions for your favorite Mormon this holiday season:

Fabric Scripture Carrier—perhaps something in denim this year? It’s a favorite among someone somewhere, I’m sure.

A New Book of Mormon, complete with single word change–who doesn’t need an updated version?

Or maybe your loved one is political, if so a contribution to the Romney for President fund might be a thoughtful choice.

But if you still have your heart set on something naughty, might I suggest you order the same gift I’m giving my mother this year. I have a feeling she’s really going to love it.

Our Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, even if we did forget a green salad. But as Ben said, “It’s just filler. Why waste stomach room on salad?” The entire day was so much fun, even the parts where I learned stuff from Arlo… like how to make gravy. Ben and I made the mashed potatoes, Mormon style–which means lots and lots of fatty ingredients and a Book of Mormon on the kitchen counter for luck.Unfortunately, AK ended up out of the country on a business trip so he wasn’t able to be there in person, but thanks to Skype video he was able to supervise our activities. He didn’t have a lot of faith in our kitchen skills and made sure we knew where the fire extinguisher was at all times. No, seriously.Mrs. AK, however, didn’t need any supervision. Her turkey was perfect! Can’t wait until next year!

I have so much to be thankful this year…

I’m thankful I have loving and loyal friends who are family to me. Especially Mrs. AK, who despite being British, planned an all-American Thanksgiving feast complete with a child’s place setting for Ben.Speaking of family, even though my parents decided to spend the holiday amongst drug dealers and elderly vacationers, I’m extremely thankful I have both a mom and a dad. I’m also thankful I have such cool brothers, a sister-in-law that I adore, and the most amazing niece and nephew in the entire world.

I could on, but I won’t. There’s cooking to be done. Granted I’ll just be watching, but watch I shall! Obviously I’ll be paying closer attention to our Canadian friend’s ass, than I will any food preparation, but have complete faith he won’t poison me. I think.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

PRICELESS!

Dear Self,

After reading these comments, remember despite all of it, you really, really like blogging. It gives you a creative outlet and an opportunity to practice the craft of writing. Also, remember the laugh factor–you’ve always been the happiest when you make someone laugh and smile.

Love, Sarah
PS. Your ass looks hot today.

Dear Readers,

I’m fully aware that by blogging about my life, it’s out there for anyone to read. I have no problem with that. Sure, sometimes a comment will irk me, but not for long. Roll with the punches, right? I think Stray Scott nailed it when, in a comment, he said that he too would read the blog of an ex. I have as well, and don’t think it’s a big deal.

I would like to address this comment: “Purposely living her life as public as Sarah does, down to minute details via Twitter, she has no right to complain.” I want you to know I’m not complaining, at all. I’ll keep blogging, if you keeping reading. Deal?

Love, Sarah
PS. I hope your asses look good today, too!

Dear Ex,

I suspect you’re not the only ex reading this site. I don’t mind. Whichever ex you are, I hope you are happy and well.

Love,
Sarah