Driving home today, I saw what looked like a cute guy on my street. I was gawking at him when I realized it was my brother Ben. After I threw up in my mouth I pulled over and yelled at him for looking like a normal boy.
I’ve been hesitant to blog about going back to school. Perhaps I’m embarrassed I never took my education seriously in the past. Whatever the reason, I’m going to have to get over it, and quick. The awesome fodder is totally worth it!
Did you know its okay to make out in class now? Maybe it always was, and I just didn’t attend enough to notice. In one of my classes there’s a couple who sit in the back and give each other back rubs the entire class period. And no, I am not attending BYU. By the end of the first week the back rubs had moved into kissing. I cannot wait to see what they’re up to by the end of the semester. In class conception?
To read this week’s column for In Utah This Week click here. It’s further proof there’s “NO GOOD MUSIC!” That one’s for you Jen.
A friend and I were discussing relationships last night over drinks. The previous woman he’d been dating wasn’t exactly monogamous. Now that he’s back on the prowl, I thought it might be fun to practice my matchmaking skills. Asking him what he looks for in a woman, thinking he’d provide the basics: pretty, smart and most importantly a great rack.
Nope.
“Well, if she wasn’t screwing someone else she would have been fantastic. So available is a start.”
And this was proven by ogling every ring less waitress the remainder of the evening. Like a true friend, I helped.
My mom was questioning an ethical decision I made recently:
Mom: “And do you think you made the right decision?”
Sarah: “How am I supposed to know, remember I dropped an ethics class when a midget sat behind me.”
M: “Sarah, a midget, really?”
S: “Um sorry, I think the correct term is vertically challenged.”
M: “Interesting. So what is your politically correct term? Spiritually challenged?”
S: “I’m sure that’s one of many. Wanna hear my suggestions?”
M: “Maybe another time.”
S: “Should I remind you?”
M: ” No, never.”
