Tales of Wit and Charm…

no, this is not a lesbian post. sorry, boys.

i made the trek to utah county today to see midge and milinda, and their respective male company, or children as others keep calling them. it’s nice that my girlfriends live within five minutes of one another, i just with it were somewhere in the salt lake valley.

milinda and i met for lunch at chadders, the american fork knockoff of in-n-out burger. it was a sad affair. the food sucked and it took way to long for sucky food. it tasted nothing like in-n-out, but did look like a very cheap knockoff. what a complete and total waste of six bucks.

midge and i went for iced tea and dessert at some sandwich place by her house. when i asked if they had iced coffee the clerk just looked at me with the stepford wives blank stare. do people really not know what iced coffee is? come on.

the point of this post is not to bitch about utah county eating establishments, but to bitch about my friends–that’s right. two of my best girls let me wander around IN PUBLIC with the tag still on my pants! it’s one think to overlook the tag out of pure excitement to wear cute new pink summery pants, but how i didn’t feel the tag rubbing on my butt is beyond me.

after my bitchy encounter with a fellow student last week, i wanted to make an attempt to be nice to him in class last night.

so, when i noticed his new haircut i felt it was important to let him know it was time to fire his hairstylist.

he was quick to point out he was making good on a bet with an eight year-old cancer patient.

once again, i’m the bad guy, but at least the bad guy has cute shoes!

a group of us went to the arts fest this weekend to see the filthy gorgeous fashion show. it was incredible! obviously i was especially obsessed with the pink guitar.

i had a semi-date with me, which ben claims scarred him for at least a week. my date happens to be a family counselor, so of course ben insisted on immediate therapy to deal with a man flirting with his sister. and you think i’ve got issues?

thanks to cottonsox photography for letting me post one of her “bloody brilliant” pics!

after listing reasons why i’ve stayed home the last few fridays, i’m amazed i still have friends:

1-i can’t go out, i’m too scared of hannibal lecter to leave the house tonight.
2-i have burrito belly and can’t go anywhere beyond the couch.
3-i have to stay home and delete duplicate songs from my itunes.

oddly enough, they were all 100% true.

click here for this week’s column.

does anyone want to marry me for a week, just to provide health and dental insurance? my tooth hurts.

i have a night class that pains me even more than my tooth.

i know the next statement is going to make me sound like a bitch, but like i said, it’s my blog! there is one student who drives me insane. unfortunately he’s in a wheelchair, which means i try as hard as i can to bite my tongue and never lose my temper with him. last night i didn’t. we were initialing something on a wipe board and he couldn’t reach, so when he asked me to write something for him i didn’t mind at all. however, when he made me erase and rewrite it more than once i got frustrated and said something snarky. in my defense i would have snapped at anyone at that point, wheelchair or no wheelchair. there’s something about this class that drains my patience, and as everyone knows there isn’t a lot there to begin with.

the rest of the evening i felt like shit for being semi-cruel. had this particular man not been in a wheelchair i wouldn’t have given it a second thought. i suck.