Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

I made this:

See that cute, pink screwdriver? Midge gave it to me for Christmas, and while I simply adore it, it’s not exactly the ideal tool for such a project. I have blisters. For real, blisters!

The lesson learned: I don’t need a man, but I definitely need a drill.

Marky made me go here:
Because I made him go here:

To read this week’s column click here! To see humiliating footage from the night click here, here and finally, for the best/worst click here.

Neither Ben nor myself will be trying out for American Idol anytime soon. We, fortunately, realize how much we suck. And if we didn’t, we certainly do now.

I was over at a friend’s house last night, sitting on the porch having a drink when he walked in and said,”Hell yeah! My yeast is rising, and it’s making my balls rise.”