Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

i’m an upstairs neighbor. i try really hard to be conscience of this, and keep the tap dancing with circus midgets to a minimum.

last night i saw my downstairs neighbor when i was out with daisy. i asked her if she hears any weird noises from my apartment at night. she looks at me sorta wide-eyed and just nods her head no. i replied, “cool” and walked back upstairs. i figured she was just embarrased i caught her sneaking a smoke and didn’t think anything of her somewhat odd response.

it didn’t dawn on me until a couple hours later she probably didn’t think think i was talking about my noisy elliptical machine, but something more along the lines of virgin sacrifices or crazy sex.

i think it’s best to just avoid her for a few days. i have a feeling if i try and explain it’s only going to get worse. sigh…

in utah this week is the media sponsor for this year’s pride parade. we’re walking in the parade sunday morning. if you’d like to join us please contact joel at jshoemaker@inthisweek.com for details. what do you get out of it? well, you get a freebie shirt and to hang out with us!

anyone who knows me knows i detest scary movies. hate. hate. hate them! when i saw half of silence of the lambs in high school i slept on my parents floor for a week and a half. did you read the part where i said i was in HIGH SCHOOL?

it’s haunted me ever since.

with all my free time these days i’ve hit my life to do list. number 47: watch silence of the lambs the entire way through.

since i’m such a procrastinator i’ve now watched every movie in the hannibal lecter series except silence of the lambs. all during the middle of the day at marky’s house, because for some reason his house is immune to serial killers. this prevention didn’t stop me from freaking out. one night when i was supposed to meet friends for drinks, i wouldn’t leave the house because i was too afraid. (see guys! you thought being afraid of hannibal lecter was just an excuse to avoid the bar.)

today i’m going to marky’s place to finally watch the movie. i’ll be happy to cross it off my list, though i’ll be sad to let go of the hannibal lecter diet. i’ve lost a few pounds being so grossed out each time i see food. i wonder if i could trademark and sell that diet…

i’m making progress. i finally dumped the yuppie’s bathroom supplies today. i felt guilty doing it, but it’s done nonetheless. when i bought this bathroom garbage can years ago i had no idea just how fitting it would be.

i went to a friend’s house last night for a bbq. in her invite she told me to bring someone who made me happy, and since there’s nobody filling that part at the moment i took ben. ben who doesn’t know the difference between trees and weeds. seriously this kid is nuts, which makes me look normal and that’s always a plus.

the hostess with the mostess mentioned a friend of hers thought she knew me. when she mentioned the name it took me a few minutes to think of how this girl could possibly know me. she mentioned where in slc she grew up and the fact her family had ten kids. bingo! that was enough to dig into the deep sarah memories and come up with where she knows me from. her parents used to babysit me before we moved to the country. she had to have been six or so at the time, i was eight. the only thing i could remember was lots and lots of kids and a constant supply of oranges. oh, and i think i may have been in love with one of her brothers.

i couldn’t believe she would remember me from just a name and not seeing me. it’s not like my name is distinct in any way. that kind of memory is only something i dream of having. as it is, i can barely remember to get dressed before leaving the house.

ben and i had a family day today. we finally made it over to cafe niche for brunch. i’ve been hearing good things and it’s relatively close to my house, so we went. the food was much to my liking and only half to ben’s liking. the reason? they served salad with his eggs. when i asked him what the big deal was he said, “i like the idea of salad, but it’s too much work–keeping it on your fork and all.” it’s moments like that i realize there is no denying we are brother and sister.

afterwards we met aimee and lo at the 337 project since i hadn’t been yet. i was waiting for a photographer friend of mine to have time, but sadly that didn’t work out. (anyone out there who took professional-ish shots that want to share, by all means…) i’d seen some photos online and was really hoping to have a couple done i could frame for my place. it’s summer, i need to revamp my walls.

oddly, all my favorite rooms were the bathrooms, like these: