santa claus is comin’ to town, well my town anyway!
every year on christmas eve santa comes to every house in my hometown and to this day i still get a warm fuzzy opening to the door let santa in. when i was younger they paid the town drunk (and my sunday school teacher!!) to play santa, but since he died in thailand a few years ago it’s not been the same. i miss drunk santa.
this year after santa left the doorbell rang for a second time. usually not a big deal, but in a town with the population of 4 (most of which are related) it’s not often to have someone actually ring the bell rather than walk in. i opened the door and let in a lady i didn’t know. when my dad saw her he simply walked into the garage without a word, and came back with a suspicious looking box. i grew up in the country, and while i don’t choose to own rifles i certainly know a gun box when i see one, even if it is wrapped in festive paper. it was at that very moment i discovered my dad was a arms dealer. needless to say, i’m very nervous to see what gifts i’ll be receiving tomorrow…
ok… so.. you have a drunkard neighbor arms dealer/hick on your hands or what? or are you attacking the ‘religion’ of your fathers…. you have me lost completely. i’m sure there is some humor somewhere near. i must be missing it. methinks i’m lost, once again.
…
SarahBellum, Have a Merry Christmas!!
Ryan, I too think you are lost. I think this post is funny and not attacking anyone. You need to take an extra swig of that Egg Nog and chill out. I linked to your blog from your name, and “methinks” you are the one lacking humor not to mention any interest at all. Merry Christmas and best of luck finding your funny bone, though “methinks” you never had one.
Dear Ms. Bellum–
I see two ways to approach this issue:
1) hide the ammo.
2) throw the ammo into the bonfire while swigging raw likker from the bottle (or jar) and give your best rebel yell.
Helpfully yours,
Mikey
Don’t you listen to that nitwit! There’s humor in this post. I think this lad is bitter or his mother forgot to let him watch Bambi as a child. If you don’t have anything nice to say, shut the hell up.
I’d like a drunk Santa. Does a drunk brother count?
Actually, i think mister william is right.. although i think in my case i should lay off the egg nog, and chill out.
Thanks for putting me straight. Thanks for the interesting columns as always Sarah.