Tales of Wit and Charm…

lily, my best friend’s beautiful daughter broke her arm rollerblading. ( i swear, i had nothing to do with it!) while waiting to get her arm set jen asked lily what color she wanted. lily wanted blue, but luckily jen put a stop to this by pulling the mom card and said, “if i’m paying for this then you’re getting pink”!

lily’s been forced into pink since the day she came home from the hospital. i was put in charge of finding the outfit she would wear home. i bought the pinkest thing i could find, against jen’s will of course.

i think it’s important to force pink onto people as soon as possible!

sounds weird, i know, but read more here!

in an effort to avoid having to buy an airline seat belt extender, i’ve boycotted eating lunch out every day. it helps that since our offices moved i’m in chair restaurant land, which i hate. to avoid extra caloric intake i packed a lunch and left myself a note so i’d remember to take it.anyway, it was because of this i realized i’ve turned into my mother. growing up she always left herself notes: on doors, car steering wheel, purse, everywhere. i don’t think it’s because she’s an airhead, i think she just had a lot on her mind. sure, i could be saying that to avoid the scatterbrained diagnosis. i’ve just got lots on my mind.

don’t get me wrong, i love my mother–i just don’t want to be her.

as much as i hate that idea of men are from mars women are from venus bullshit, i’m starting to believe in it. i took a geek field trip with the boys today to raelco, an electronics graveyard store. it’s a creepy place and i am, without a doubt, the first female to have ever walked through the door. the way they looked at me was frightening, not undressing me with their eyes frightening, but “what is this person that looks and smells so much better” frightening. odd, because you would think at least one of them had seen a woman on episodes of star trek before.
this place proves to me, yet again, that men and women are very, very different–women so clearly being the superior being.

i found the below email in my inbox this morning from my favorite uncle:

“Your grandmother was bragging on you again this past weekend. It is such a reality check to realize my own mother wants to tell me about my “big brother’s” children and grandchildren more than she wants to talk about me and mine. Mom always did like your dad best.

Anyway, she shared the excitement of your newfound celebrity status. I told her you have always had celebrity status in my eyes, being the oldest and cutest of all the nieces and nephews you were such a new item nearly thirty years ago. I was still in high school when you came into this world. I can’t believe you now have worries regarding Crow’s Feet and Aging Eggs. Remember you have earned both. Grandma advised you have not quit your day job. I always knew you were smart. Your intelligence was obvious when you avoided that school in Provo so many years ago. Please don’t embarrass my mother, your mother, or one-eyed Daisy. It is ok to embarrass your dad and brothers.”

this is the man i named my most beloved cabbage patch doll after in the 80’s. all these years later i know i made the right choice naming it!