This sugar-free pudding cup is my boyfriend. For real. I would totally nap with it. 7 hours ago
I want to be in bed. That's all. 7 hours ago
Dear Jesus, if I pass this final on Tuesday I will believe in you for one whole month. Love, Sarah 8 hours ago
This cold is not going to ruin my Friday plans. Nope. Not happening. 9 hours ago
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As a single guy living alone, who has some trouble getting the dishes washed and the trash taken out as often as they should be, I applaud your tolerance of the attendant odors.
OK, so next time I’ll open the window for a while before I bring you back to my place. Or fry up some bacon in the afternoon. Or is it just too late and I should move on?
don’t forget to read my adventures dating mr. rodent…here. 
I laughed!
Me too, me too.
I hate them! HATE THEM! I’m glad gamster hater and anon hate them, too.
My sister had a gerbil growing up and it took every thing i had to not throw that little plastic ball in the river that flowed by my house.
I had a gerbil as a kid, I’ve since come to my senses and live a rodent free lifestyle.
I almost fell off my chair with the jelly bean flavor. Thanks for bringing funnies to my day.
Fascinating, I think I once dated your personality doppelganger… the taste of hantavirus really pulled the column together…
I WAS going to ask you out, but now..
told ya sarah
Mind if I link you Sarah?
As a single guy living alone, who has some trouble getting the dishes washed and the trash taken out as often as they should be, I applaud your tolerance of the attendant odors.
But rats? An understandable deal breaker.
I need to date you, this isn’t a matter of want but need. How can a guy go about accomplishing this?
DId you ever see that movie–Win a date with Tad Hamilton? Just saying it might not hurt. I’d enter the contest.
That was great, Sarah! I am not a Ferret hater (or a rodent hater), but damn, they DO stink something awful! Good for you getting outta stinkville.
Takes a rodent to know one…
Dear Ms. Bellum–
Nice article. Just to overstate the totally obvious, you’re way cuter than that Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ardently yours,
Mikeymikemike
i finally found a hard copy at piccadillys on 15th and state today. btw, don’t bother eating there unless you’re a fan of grease and heartburn.
OK, so next time I’ll open the window for a while before I bring you back to my place. Or fry up some bacon in the afternoon. Or is it just too late and I should move on?