Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

woman bond over food; don’t ask me why, that’s just the way it is.

i met my second favorite sarah yesterday for coffee. we’ve been blog-friending for a while now and recently decided it’s high time we become real friends. we share a shoe obsession and an elitist attitude, so we got along famously. i look forward to shopping and target adventures soon!

later that day, i met up with mystery boy for lunch and a movie. i’m a giant pub whore so we went there. there were two separate tables of women eating behind us. the women all bonded over nachos, of all things. unfortunately, i was turned away staring at the couple in matching hiking clothes so i missed the nacho swap. luckily, mystery boy caught the whole thing. what drives a person to walk over to a table of unknown women and ask if they’d like to try your nachos?! oh, yeah…beer.

thanks to mystery boy for catching that little goodie for me; he’s a fantastic partner-in-crime for that very reason! boys with purple shoes are somehow better than the rest.

i hate email chain letters.

i’m never going to believe that my future relationship luck is hanging on the balance of one single email, hello, i don’t have a) luck or b) a relationship to jinx!

so, today i received this little lovely via cell phone:

Fwd:Fwd: Puff puff pass! Dis is a cellular blunt so dont fuck up the rotation! Keep this shit movin’ til the whole world hits it! Happy 420!

since when are we getting forwards via cell phones?! i can’t seem to escape this crap. to forward, or not to forward, that is the question. i’m ok with risking bad blunt luck, as i don’t smoke them, but just in case i pick up the habit between say now and the end of the day, i’ll pass it on to pmk.

so, we all know the deal; 420 is the day to celebrate being a pothead. we’ve all heard that 420 is the cop code for that wacky tobaccy, well not according to snopes:

420 is the penal code section for marijuana use in California.

Nope. Section 420 of the California penal code refers to obstructing entry on public land. The penal codes of other states list different entries for 420, but none of them matches anything having to do with marijuana.

just so you know….

while in the dressing room at express yesterday, i overheard two young girls discussing the skirts they were trying on. when having trouble deciding one asked the other, “what would jesus think if he walked into the room when you were wearing it?”

as i walked out they mistakenly asked my opinion, i simply stated, “jesus strikes me more of the red or black type, not baby blue”. i walked out as their jaws hit the floor.

i’m positive i’m going to hell, but at least i know i’ll be warm there.

i’ve never been a big fan of personalized license plates, but this one was just too fabulous not to like….

this morning ben and i were discussing his summer haircut plans, he’s moving “home” for the summer. we’ve decided if he is going to live in the country he has to be country (don’t worry, it’s just for the summer).

the obvious answer is, of course, a mullet.

when he was trying to explain what he wanted it to look like he said, “i don’t want it to scream i want to sleep with my cousins, i want it to whisper it”.

it was at this point i realized, we are most definitely related; siblings NOT cousins!