Sarah Bellum's Tales of Wit and Charm

the mean reds are horrible. suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. don’t you ever get that feeling?

do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you are always a step or two behind? sometimes, i do. this week being one of those times. i have tried so hard to fix certain wrongs in my life and it feels like i won’t ever get there. i have tried, i really have. all while holding catholic-like guilt. i have never wanted anyone to take care of me. i like being independent. sometimes to the point that it only hurts me. i have never been one of those girls that need to be taken care of. we all know the type. i am not that type. the past few days i have pondered every relationship i have had with a man. the men that wanted me. really, really wanted me. depsite my stubborn side, depsite all my idiosyncrasies (trust me when i say i have more than my share of them) those men wanted a life with me. i declined. i didn’t feel it. now i have to wonder did i make a mistake with my decisions? it would be nice to have someone there, all the time. someone to help me with life decisions. someone to give me advice-that i more than likely wouldn’t actually take. just, someone.

while i am more than confident with these choices, i can’t help but wonder. what if….

sadly, i can’t just jump into a cab and go to tiffany’s. so i continue, and keep my fingers crossed these last few key choices i have made, while difficult are the best for my future (repeat to self 4 times nightly).

i have a friend, who shall remain nameless… because i’ll be honest, i don’t want him upset with me. but this must be blogged for the sake of entertainment, and face it i love a good story.

nameless my ass, sorry marky, you know i adore you.

mark shops, a lot. AND, mark returns things, a lot. which if you look at it the way we do, it just means you get to shop twice as much. oy! i think after much debate and countless trips to park city our boy has found the perfect jacket. though, my brother came over sunday evening and was wearing a very similar jacket. so if i don’t end up seeing you wearing it soon i will assume you took it back for that very reason. “not that there is anything wrong with that!”

i give mark a hard time for his returning merchandise habit. secretly i am jealous. i crack under the pressure of a return. seriously. when asked the reason i am returning the item, my face turns red and some monstrous lie makes its way out of my mouth. why i can not just say because i changed my mind is beyond me.

so marky, i only tease out of complete and utter return envy.

as advised in the first step, admit we are powerless over our addiction. here it goes….i, sarah middlenameless ______ admit i have an addiction. an addiction to the series lost. go ahead, judge me. i certainly would (and have) of others faced with my current obsession.

replace alcohol with lost and god with matthew fox in the text below and volia, that was my weekend. mark and alex, i am never listening to your tv suggestions again. the addiction is too strong. my eyes hurt, my ass hurts, and unquestionably my couch, as it has two indentations where krissy and i spent the weekend getting our fix.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

why i want to be the president of the united states, the presidential loophole!

thanks to al franken for pointing out in today’s show why i need to run for the commander in chief position that so clearly should be available. apparently when you are president no rules apply to you, and it’s all legal. perfect. since i don’t think they apply to me as is.

you can use all necessary force “during war”, and since we have been told there will ALWAYS be a war on terror….there you have it.

lovely. just lovely.

finally, a use for those rollerblades taking up precious closet space! enter–evening beer run. on my way home i witnessed pure brilliance. a rollerblader on his way home with a case of beer. the boy is my new hero! i can barely walk out of my apartment without hurting myself. an attempted beer run on wheels, would be the death of me. i applaud your spunk mr. beer-man.

i desperately need to start carrying a camera!

e.e. cummings said it best–

a politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man